CBS posted record-high ratings for its sitcom lineup on Monday. Quoth The Hollywood Reporter:

CBS’ “The Big Bang Theory” (11.4 million, 4.2) had series-high numbers in all key measurements; “How I Met Your Mother” (11.4 million, 4.6/11) hit an all-time high in the adult demo; “Two and a Half Men” (17.9 million, 5.6/13) had its strongest performance since the evening after CBS aired the Super Bowl in 2007; “Worst Week” (12.1 million, 3.6/9) had its biggest rating since its season premiere.

You know what that means? It means we’re all becoming old people!

Now we ALL get to fluff out our bangs to hide our receding hairlines.

As a newly minted old person, I’m looking forward to:

• Having an excuse for my bad driving.
• Talking loudly in the movie theater with no consequences.
• Living off of Social Security.
• Not caring about the way I smell.
• Mush.
• Explaining the differences between the way things are now and the way they used to be.
• Enjoying TV shows where senior citizens solve mysteries.
• Dinner at 4 pm, bed by 9 pm–or, as we old people call it, “before Worst Week.”

I’ve noticed some things this week while watching TV. Not anything that’s worthy of its own post, but perhaps all laid out together they will amount to something. There’s a funny video at the end!

• Why does Pushing Daisies keep putting Chuck in those hideous high-waisted pants? She belongs in adorable full-skirted dresses with matching scarves. No to high-waisted pants! No!
• John Corzine on the Daily Show? More like John BORE-zine. (Genius.)
• Why is House so upset about Cuddy’s adopting? Is he jealous? Lonely? Does he wish he could’ve made her pregnant himself?
• Everyone’s been saying this, but How I Met Your Mother could really slow things down a bit. I feel like Ted got engaged yesterday, and now everything’s status quo. At least Barney is taking his redemption at a reasonable pace (one step forward, two steps back).
• Has anyone besides me and Kyle been watching Gavin and Stacey on BBC America? It is delightful. Sometimes, either due to accent or UK-ishness, I don’t understand what’s going on, but that’s part of the fun. However, none of the characters seem to think ahead about anything. If you get married and move, you will not be able to live in your old house and keep your old crap, too. Stacey’s the worst at this. But whatever. It’s the Nessa and Pam and Bryn show as far as I’m concerned. Also: Move out of your parents’ house, you crazy kids.
• My love affair with Life on Mars may have ended yesterday, after only three episodes. Pull it together, Life on Mars! I liked it with the good music and the crazy clothes and the anachronisms. I don’t like the speechiness.
• At least if you’re dating Michael Scott you’ll totally know if/when he’s lying to you, and he’ll be extremely up front about his intentions/expectations. I suppose that’s a benefit to having no filter.
• Don’t read the next sentence if you don’t want to see one joke from next week’s 30 Rock. My personal favorite, mostly thanks to Alec Baldwin’s amazing delivery: “I worked the day shift at the graveyard and the graveyard shift at the Day’s Inn.”
• Still love: Greek. On the fence: Dirty Sexy Money. Probably dropping: Heroes.
• And here’s your video, via Videogum:

These guys.

In brief:

Neil Patrick Harris was robbed.

Turns out Josh Groban has a sense of humor (ETA: get it while it’s still out there).

I still don’t care about Mad Men.

Tina Fey deserves it all.

I open the floor to comments. Particularly insults directed at the idiots pictured above.

Oh, Neil Patrick Harris. I love how you continue to defy expectations.

You claw your way out of the child star purgatory and wiggle your way into a successful prime time gig. You come out of the closet and refuse to only take gay roles, instead tackling the role of a misogynist on a pretty funny network series.

It just warms my heart is all.

On that note, take a look at NPH’s new Old Spice commercial. It’s both genuinely chuckle-worthy (which is a higher compliment than it sounds) as well as defiant of the expectations one would have from an openly gay actor.

Take a look:[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/TusJ8HSLaUs" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

I don’t know about you guys, but last night’s TV really brought it. Please be prepared for some spoilers ahead (though the biggest I’ll put after the jump).

I’ve decided to approach the evening chronologically. Not in the order that the episodes aired, but in the age of the characters portrayed.

High School

In the second episode of The Paper, we learned a little more about my new favorite newspaper teen: Alex. Alex went to Hebrew school with Amanda. Alex considered Amanda a friend before junior year, then he started hanging out with the Adam/Trevor/Gianna axis of evil and grew apart from Amanda. Alex had a crush on Amanda in ninth grade! We are witnessing Alex’s transformation from shy dork to life of the party. It’s great.

I don’t have the energy to mount my Amanda defense, but I think as stubbornly odd as she is, you can see that she just doesn’t know how to relate to people. I don’t think she’s a bad person and I’d like to see her succeed — but she does have trouble letting loose, as is clear from her post-its and the “fun” of the ice cream social.

College

I’ve been hoping for a Greek flashback episode for a long time now, and this one delivered. It not only gave us a glimpse of the kids way back when (2 years ago), it also did the impossible: It turned Evan into the hero! Cappie’s phenomenal charisma has always been a problem for the show: Why on earth would Casey ever break up with him? Especially for suit-wearing, soul-crushing Evan? This episode paints the picture beautifully. Cappie is the life of the party, but that’s his priority, not Casey. Evan is the quiet, conflicted best friend who doesn’t know where to belong. Cappie has never had a problem fitting in. Seeing Evan’s problems makes him infinitely more likeable. And seeing how Cappie has grown since his relationship with Casey — he really comes through for Rebecca — makes him, if possible, even more sympathetic (not that he needed it).

Mid to late 20s

How I Met Your Mother has been on fire this season. This episode was no exception. And the ending! I will discuss more after the jump.

I’m sure you all noticed last night’s two lovely in-joke moments, but I’ll happily point them out again because they made me smile. These are the nerd moments, and if we, as nerds, don’t talk about them, who else is going to take the time to appreciate the care and love that went into the gags?

First there was Barney typing up his blog as if he were a 16-year-old doctor with his own show in the early 90s (it’s the last scene of the episode). It seems like the writers of HIMYM may have discovered this delightful Hulu treasure trove as well.

And then, on Greek, which came out with a great episode all-round, Alan Ruck, who plays the dean, got cornered by Ashley at the Great Gatsby party. She talks awkwardly. We cut away, some other stuff happens. When we cut back to Ashley and the dean, she pulls a great Espenson (that’s what I’m calling it now — thanks, Jane!): “And so in conclusion, that’s why I think that Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is the Great Gatsby of our generation.” I don’t agree with Ashley’s logic, but I like Alan Ruck’s face in response.

In conclusion, I have now fulfilled my nerd obligations, and so will you once you comment on these winking nods to the real world.

• Expect plenty of scenes of Angela from the Office sitting at her desk and hiding behind office equipment
• 30 Rock visits MILF island
• Watch a press conference with the stars of Battlestar Galactica
• For no reason: Battlestar Galactica Simpsonized
• Watch all episodes of South Park online, free, and legally right here
• After the smashing success of Fox News’ comedy program, CNN says “me too!”
• Milo from Heroes has a Youtube posse
• What will the Beeper King’s new moniker be on 30 Rock?
• 10 TV shows that changed the world
• Britney helps How I Met Your Mother get it’s highest ratings this season
• Up to 8 Buffyverse actors are being considered for roles on Dollhouse
• E! Kristin has gossip on 30 Rock, Pushing Daisies, HIMYM, FNL and more!

There’s a good chance you’ve already heard about Britney Spears’ future appearance on How I Met Your Mother.

If not, Britney Spears is going to be on How I Met Your Mother.

In any case, there’s a new clip of her cameo that I thought I’d share. It’s not much (really, it’s not much), but it’s something to watch, I suppose.

It’s no Crossroads, but it’ll do.

• Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island arrested for pot
• E! Kristin has spoilers for How I Met Your Mother, Friday Night Lights, and more
• Will Arnett sex tape! (possibly NSFW)
• Financing secured for a Wire movie, but David Simon hasn’t signed on yet
• House feels snubbed by Britain
• Hulu.com, the collaboration with NBC and Fox to put shows online, goes live today
• Alicia Silverstone quits HIMYM, would rather be unemployed than work with Britney Spears
• Whole bunch of Buffy stuff on sale at this charity eBay auction