Things I Liked:

1. Jon, on the latest Democratic presidential debate: “It’s like the world’s most boring Neil LaBute play.”
2. In the boring moments of Reaper, Sam’s cute little freckly nose.
3. Evil Horse Lady insulting Kristin Chenowith’s cleavage on Pushing Daisies.
4. Free taco day. I didn’t eat one, but it still makes me laugh.

Things I Disliked:

1. Lily’s out-of-control financial irresponsibility on HIMYM (because girls love to shop, didn’t you know?), and that she’s lying to Marshall about it and has been for years, and that they made me hate Lily.
2. No Kristen Bell on Heroes.
3. The extreme grossness of the man with sludge blood on House.
4. See number 1. I understand why they did it for the story — it would’ve been terrible for her to make Marshall take the soulless job just to save her ass — but she’s lying to him. And she’s lying for such a stupid reason! I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all.

Yes, I am excited it’s Wednesday because of all the good TV. But I’m also excited to be back from fulfilling (enduring) my civic duty. Don’t ask me about it. Crime is not always fun like in Oceans 11.

It’s a Halloween episode of Pushing Daisies, which I’m looking forward to almost as much as the giant bag of candy I bought for the approximately zero children who ring our doorbell.

It’s gratifying that my early instinct on Dirty Sexy Money — that Brian is by far the most interesting Darling — seems to be true so far. He’s so angry and spiteful. But human.

I’m still recording Gossip Girl, but it’s not actually getting watched, as evidenced by my multi-week backlog. I would guess scandalous things are happening.

Just in time for Halloween, Mythbusters returns with some fire myths. Presumably not as a tasteless tie-in to the California wildfires.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: A special one for Cristin — David Wright is the guest on The Daily Show tonight.

In case you haven’t visited it yet, you’d do well to drop by the new Daily Show Web site. It’s revamped, plucked, coiffed and waxed — leaving behind Comedy Central’s cumbersome interface.

Below, I’ve embedded one of my favorite clips from Samantha Bee [note: embedding is a pain in the ass, view it here] (who is probably my favorite correspondent — no one should be surprised by this due to my vocal preference for female comedians). It’s a bit she did late last year about Al Jazeera English. When she breaks out the keyboard and improvises lyrics — damn, that’s some funny stuff.

You weren’t planning on getting anything done this Friday anyway, face it.

You guys should really submit some nouns for The More You Know. All I do is think of a noun and then figure out something to say about it and it never makes sense to anyone but me.

• Here’s a preview of the new, big, gay neighbors on Desperate Housewives.
• Rory Gilmore’s dad will be joining Private Practice.
• Jon Stewart signed another two-year contract with The Daily Show.
• TV Guide’s Ask Matt tackles Dirty Sexy Money and Reaper.
• Big Bang Theory and Private Practice have full season orders.  Sigh.
• Check out the huge, crazy new Daily Show Web site.
• Debi Mazar on a New Jersified version of The View?
• The dude who does Meerkat Manor chats with the Washington Post.
• TV on your iPod?

This is our 1000th post. I swear to God.

• John Krasinksi shirtless. F’real.
• The Filipinos have switched the target of their ire from Desperate Housewives to The Daily Show.
• A former Tonight Show writer is turning on his former boss, Jay Leno.
• The AV Club talks to Heroes’ Sendhil Ramamurthy.
• Shocker on Prison Break. Anyone?
• Survivor’s Leslie talks to TV Guide.
• The NY Times examines the responsibility of reality show producers to intervene in the case of dangerous behavior.
• Joss Whedon is being weird and cryptic about the upcoming episode of The Office that he is directing.
• Thank You For Smoking is becoming a TV series.
• Chevy Chase tanked on SNL.
• DC Police Chief Cathy Lanier has inspired a show.
• The Hills is (gasp) fake?
• CBS employees are trying to bet on Survivor.
• Advertisers are up on Kid Nation, even though ratings are down.
• Also, today’s the last day to enter Nip/Tuck.

I’m typing this without moving my mouth.

• Charisma Carpenter will be on the celebrity version of The Apprentice.
• Even though certain commenter trolls think otherwise, HGTV has deemed there is nothing wrong with Kim competing on Design Star.
• The set of the British version of The Office will be demolished.
• A Hawaii orchestra will perform the music of Lost.
• There will be a little surprise in your next TV Guide, thanks to Grey’s Anatomy.
• Lucy Lawless talks about Burn Notice.
• TV Guide gives a summer TV breakdown.
• It’s official: Jon Stewart will host the Oscars.
• Some people love the Weeds theme. Some people hate it.
• Gordon Ramsay lied about his balls.
• Ja Rule can suck it.
• The Closer is, again, breaking all sorts of ratings records.
• Kohls is launching a Food Network brand.

It’s a sled!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• Tate Donovan talks about Damages.
• TV Guide goes backstage at the Creative Arts Emmys.
• Jane Seymour treats dancing like therapy. You know what my therapy is? Therapy.
• Jeri Ryan’s fetus is problematic for TV producers.
• Game time: Bravo’s making Project Runway for _______.  Is it: a) dancers. b) make-up artists. c) set designers. d) carpenters. Click here to find out.
• Cold Case will open its season with a Nirvana-themed episode. If you care, the songs they will be using are: “All Apologies,” “Stay Away,” “If You Must,” “Lithium,” “Drain You,” “Heart Shaped Box,” “Something in the Way” and “Come as You Are.”
• My Boys is on track for renewal.
• Johnny Fairplay from Survivor knocked up one of America’s Next Top Models. This kid does not have a chance.
• Zap2It does a fall preview.
• A spoiler chat with E-Kristin about Ugly Betty, etc.
• A new book picks apart Jon Stewart and his influence.
• The Washington Post turns into AfterElton for a minute and asks how the gays can watch The Bionic Woman even when it has Isaiah Washington in it.

Yellow is really the only acceptable highlighter color.

• Ed Helms talks about being on The Office.
• High School Musical 2 arrives on DVD in time for Hannukah (well, the sixth night).
• The new skinny girls on America’s Next Top Model have been announced.
• Mare Winningham guest stars on Boston Legal.
• TV Guide’s Matt Roush talks about Ryan Seacrest at the Emmys, Pushing Daisies and more.
• That show Anchorwoman has been canceled after one episode.
• An interview with the woman behind Big Brother. If you care. Which you probably don’t.
• Sweet! They’re bringing back American Gladiators.
• They had to find 30 babies to play Aaron on Lost.
• The Daily Show’s Rob Riggle talks about going to Iraq.
• Finally, here are some trailers for season two of Heroes. The first one plays like the concluding moments of the Left Behind series. It gets better.

[kml_flashembed movie="http://youtube.com/v/HSqVRUlvOjA" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/wk8q2OWLLz8" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

I’m tying a giant ice cube on top of my head as we speak.

• Gordon Ramsay from Hell’s Kitchen talks to TV Guide.
• As does Holly Hunter, about her new show Saving Grace. Holly Hunter = slumming it?
• Cherry Jones will be the new president on 24.
• Jack Black, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert will be on The Simpsons next season.
• The Television Critics Awards bestow honors on The Sopranos and NBC.
• Anyone watch Bones? Here’s some info on next season.
• The Soup’s Joel McHale gabs with E!.
• If it comes to this — you can watch the season premieres of Monk and Psych online.
• A profile of SNL’s Andy Samberg.
• What Would Bob Odenkirk TiVo?
• Gilmore Girls’ Scott Patterson had a deal that kept him on the CW.
• Scott Baio and Bret Michaels: oy.
• For some reason, NBC is trying to hang onto Jay Leno.
• Did Emmy rob Tracy Morgan?
• Dawn Ostroff defends the Veronica Mars cancellation.

TiFaux readers have a standing invitation to come grill food with me in my backyard. Unless you’re a freak.

• A female WWE wrestler has joined the cast of Survivor: China.
• E-Kristin has a spoiler chat including stuff on Dexter, Heroes and Rescue Me.
• The creators of Homestar Runner have rejected the Cartoon Network.
• Rachael Ray, Jon Stewart and Tina Fey will all appear on Sesame Street.
• And NBC has a crush on Jon Stewart.
• In even more suffocating Sopranos news, HBO talked David Chase out of a full 30 seconds of blackness at the end.
• Steve Carrell is sticking with The Office.
• A study indicates that television watching decays moral values. I would have read the article, but I was too busy kissing boys in my meth lab.
• Bret Michaels stars in “The Bachelor: Herp edition.”
• Judd Apatow wants to know why you didn’t watch his TV shows.
• There’s a Quixotic quest to save Studio 60.
• Finally, if you’ve got some time to kill, watch this compilation of scenes detailing the Lost plane crash from a variety of perspectives. [kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/nu3SxqSrAOM" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]