Leave Applebee’s alone.

• Chris Crocker, the gay dude who did that hideous “Leave Britney alone” video, might get a reality TV show.
• Is Kathy Griffin engaged to the Apple guy?
• Watch the second season premiere of Friday Night Lights online.
•  Sherri Shepherd talks about her new deal with The View.
• Slate examines the history of the laugh track.
• The top two from Big Brother talk to TV Guide.
• Someone’s coming back from the dead on 24.
• NBC Direct is coming — kind of cool, but kind of not.

News is here now. Rejoice.

• Kathy Griffin actually got to go on Ellen. Click here to watch her appearance on YouTube (it’s in two parts). Plus, set your TiFauxs to tape Larry King tonight — Kathy will be on to talk about her Emmy speech, etc. (Listen to the Emmy speech here)
• Speaking of Ellen, Neil Patrick Harris went on her show and talked about not having to hide his boyfriend at the Emmys.
• Watch the Chuck premiere online.
• Psych got renewed.
• Sally Field’s okay with her speech getting bleeped.
• iTunes is making enemies. Now, Fox is thinking about pulling out.
• Salon gives the Buffy Award to Friday Night Lights, deeming it the year’s most under appreciated show.
• Television Without Pity interviews Pete from 30 Rock.
• And then there’s this:
  

Happy New Year, everyone.

• People lists the eight hottest dudes on fall TV.
• Jodie Sweetin (aka Stephanie Tanner) is preggers.
• Top Chef contestant Josie was the victim of an anti-gay hate crime.
• The Emmys will censor Kathy Griffin’s acceptance speech, canceling out the only the only thing anyone would actually want to see on the telecast.
• Jon Stewart to host the Oscars again?
• In her latest indignity, Joan Rivers will now be live-blogging the Emmy red carpet.
• Chris Parnell is joining the cast of Miss/Guided.
• There’s going to be a little person on I Love New York 2.
• A new Ask Ausiello’s up.

Five things to be happy about in respect to this year’s Emmy nominations.

1. Everybody Loves Raymond isn’t on television anymore, so it can’t win anything. Hooray!
2. Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List got nominated.
3. Lots of fun surprises in the supporting categories including Jenna Fisher, Michael Emerson (Ben from Lost), Rainn Wilson and Masi Oka.
4. Battlestar did get some directing and writing nominations.
5. Guest star nominations for Laurie Metcalf and Sir Ian McKellan.

Five things to not be happy about in respect to this year’s Emmy nominations.

1. There’s at least one entry in pretty much every category that is going to fill me with dread. That is, there are four nominees I wouldn’t mind winning and then one stinker. I’m looking at you, Boston Legal.
2. Two and a Half Men continues to fill up the comedy categories.
3. I swear to God that Patricia Arquette has sold her soul to the devil for all these Emmy nominations.
4. No Veronica Mars.
5. No Dexter.

If you’ve never met me, I hope your mental image involves a pompadour.

• I guess Mark Burnett will never give up. He’s working on some sort of martial arts reality show.
• A spoiler chat with E-Kristin including a bit about Lost and Harold Perrineau.
• Joey Fatone will host a copycat version of the Wayne Brady lyric-remembering contest.
• Rock and roll on TV this week includes Morrissey (hey! pompadours!) and Explosions in the Sky.
• Messy Peregrym from Heroes (shapeshifter Candice) will be the new lead on the CW’s Reaper.
• Zach Braff is launching his “I’m not a cad” (his word, not mine) tour.
• Battlestar’s big two-hour episode that will air in November will get its own DVD and 15 minutes of new footage.
• The Onion helps us with the Sopranos problem.
• An 18-year-old slaps Bill O’Reilly around.
• Dreamz from Survivor has been hit with a paternity suit.
• Studio 60 should have a neat conclusion. You hear that, David Chase?
• Bravo forced the top four from seasons one and two of Top Chef to participate in the pre-season three competition.
• Finally, Kathy Griffin does what we all want to do: profess our love for Anderson Cooper.

So, yeah. How’s it going?

Good, good.

Me? Not much, you know. Steady as she goes. Did you hear we got fifth place in the Weblog awards? You did get my e-mail, right?

Oh. Sorry for bringing it up again. But thanks for voting.

Yeah, there hasn’t been much on TV lately. Reruns, you know. Even Top Chef was a rerun last night!

But everything’s coming back in January. In the meantime, though, you can watch stuff on YouTube if you get bored. I just found out that you can watch Kathy Griffin’s old comedy special, Hot Cup of Talk over there.

Yeah, it’s her. She just has a completely different face.

Kathy Griffin’s reality show, My Life on the D-List, has been renewed for a third season.

Apparently, the show will feature more goofy one-liners from her drunk-ass parents, but will not mention her messy divorce.

I know I’ve pimped out Kathy Griffin before, but I just wanted everyone to remember that tonight is the season premiere of her reality show, “My Life on the D-List.”

Here’s a little teaser of her talking about “Being Bobby Brown.”

When I became a gay, I was issued an Abercrombie faux gym shirt, a copy of The Immaculate Collection and assorted hair products. Accompanied with an affectionate pat on the ass, the International Gay Recruitment Agency (IGRA) sent me out into the world to set forth and conquer our nation’s capitol.

Unfortunately, the shirt has gone to goodwill, the CD is still in its shrinkwrap and the only thing that goes in my hair is the cheapest shampoo they have at Giant. While I’ve decided to eschew a lot of gay culture, one of the aspects I’ve embraced is an undying love for Kathy Griffin.

I’m completely obsessed. Just completely obsessed.

And now she’s preparing for her third comedy special for Bravo, entitled “Kathy Griffin: Strong Black Woman.” The show will air May 9.

What’s there to look foward to this time? Says the press release:

Find out why Kathy was stroking Celine Dion’s hair in a backstage
greenroom, the ongoing battle against Steven Spielberg and Dakota Fanning,
and the real reason why Paula Abdul is always running late for red carpet
events. Grab your best gay and tune in to everyone’s favorite D-lister to
hear for yourself what everyone will be gossiping about the
next day.Â

Get excited, people.