Posts filed under 'King of the Hill'

Happy Valentine’s Day From a FOX Intern

As a prestigious member of the entertainment press, I am on the e-mail blast list for FOX press releases. Every once in a while, I get in-character press releases about FOX shows. They’re nothing hilarious, but they’re a welcome distraction in the usual sea of weekly ratings’ highlights and invitations for call-in press conferences. This week, I got one about what certain beloved FOX characters would like for Valentine’s Day. Observe:




and AMERICAN DAD Sunday, February 15, on FOX

Flowers, heart-shaped boxes of chocolates and romantic dinners might be the most popular gifts, but FOX’s Sunday night animated characters reveal what they think makes for the perfect Valentine’s Day! Make a special date with all-new episodes of THE SIMPSONS, KING OF THE HILL, FAMILY GUY and AMERICAN DAD this Sunday, Feb. 15 on FOX.


Homer Simpson: I’d like to take my sweetheart Marge out wherever she wants to go – as long as it isn’t one of those restaurants that charge you $200 because they know they got you trapped. Oh, yeah, and if Santa is reading this, I also want a new bike.

Marge Simpson: Chocolates and some time with my dream man: Mr. Clean. (Because sometimes chocolates leave stains!)

Lisa Simpson: I’d like all the commercialization of romance to stop. No more wasteful cards, delivery of chocolates or unnecessary cutting of healthy flowers. Unless the boy that plays trumpet in the band wants to send me something. Then I guess it might be okay.

Bart Simpson: My Valentine’s Day wish is for my sister. I’d like her to get the Malibu Stacy Sweetheart doll she wants. She’s wanted it for a long time, and it would make her really happy. All I want for myself is five minutes alone with Lisa’s doll to roll it in hamburger and feed it to the dog. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Moe Szyslak: For Valentine’s Day, I’d like any sort of human contact – a smile, a wink, a phone call – even a wrong number; I’ll take anything. If I don’t get nothing, that’ll be me, the creep across the street, giving you the eye. America, you’ve been warned.


Hank Hill: My perfect Valentine’s Day would be spent at work selling propane. The day would end before it turns into Valentine’s night with all the crowded restaurants, overpriced roses and creepy public kissing.

Peggy Hill: My perfect Valentine’s Day is for Hank to buy me two dozen red roses and take me to a popular restaurant where I can – without shame or restraint – show the world just how much I love him.

Bobby Hill: I’m going to do some social networking and see if I can track down a certain plastic head I used to date.

FAMILY GUY (9:00-9:30 PM ET/PT)

Peter Griffin: Every Valentine’s Day Lois promises me one sexual fantasy. This year I am choosing sex in a helicopter while reporting local traffic.

Lois Griffin: The perfect gift would probably be about 6’6” and have strong, calloused hands.

Brian Griffin: What anyone would want on this holiday: a good girl. But seriously, I’ll take either that or Beggin’ Strips.

Stewie Griffin: You can just give me more Matt Lauer in the morning. Seriously, who needs coffee when you can flip on the television and get yourself a Venti Matt with extra foam?!?

AMERICAN DAD (9:30-10:00 PM ET/PT)

Stan Smith: The perfect Valentine’s Day gift? A new president. This guy is already blowing it.

Francine Smith: A heart-shaped toilet seat that remembers to put itself down.

Hayley Smith: A chocolate-covered exit strategy from Iraq.

Steve Smith: On Valentine’s Day, I like to show the ladies my C3P-Oh face!

Roger Smith: An orgasm. Who’s with me, ladies?

Klaus Smith: A blow fish. Get it? Get it? You get it!

Like I said, cute but not hysterical. Here’s my question, though: Who writes these? I don’t think it’s the shows’ real writers. To be frank, they’re not that good. And I don’t think some poor FOX PR flack has to try and get into the head of Homer Simpson. That goes way beyond the typical duties of sending out ratings’ highlights and invitations to call-in press conferences. My guess is that this is what the writers’ room interns do. It’s a good intern exercise, since you have to write in the voice of an established character. So, if you’re a FOX intern who wrote this, this is our Valentine to you. Congratulations! Your work is now out to the general public. You did a great job with Homer, but you have to try a little harder with Bart next time.

1 comment February 13th, 2009

The King is Dead. Long Live the King.

As you already know, last week Fox announced it won’t renew King of the Hill.

I didn’t make a point of watching King of the Hill, but I enjoyed it every time I caught it. Each time I saw it, even after creators Greg Daniels and Mike Judge had already left, I was surprised by how funny it was—and it was smarter than I gave it credit for, too. One recent episode that really impressed me dealt with gentrification in Austin. It’s hard to center any kind of plot at all around gentrification, since the problem is so vague and ongoing, and it’s even harder to make it funny. King of the Hill did both.

After watching that episode, I decided that King of the Hill accomplishes what South Park wishes it does: It takes the piss out of everyone. Hank is often too small-minded and naïve, and the forces he’s up against are too out-of-control. On South Park the effect of making fun of everyone makes it seem like anyone who has an opinion is stupid for believing in anything, but King of the Hill is more focused on finding a middle ground.

I hope that King becomes one of those series that’s in reruns forever on Cartoon Network. It holds up very well. In its place, Fox will debut Sit Down, Shut Up, an animated show about teachers from three people I find to be geniuses: Mitch Hurwitz (Arrested Development), and Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein (The Simpsons, Mission Hill). I am very excited about this. (Just look at the voice cast.) Knowing Fox, if it doesn’t get good ratings immediately, it’ll be axed no matter how good it is, but if it does moderately well, they’ll let it run for a dozen seasons, just like King of the Hill.

I leave you with this one clip, from the aforementioned gentrification episode. I’ll think about this every day I ride the L to Brooklyn.

November 3rd, 2008


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