NBC has announced its schedule for the next year, and it kind of makes me want to puke.
NO: Why dilute the Office brand with a spin-off? Why not come up with a new idea instead? Oh right. That would be expensive. And take time. But the strike means there’s none of either available. Sigh.
NO: Practically no new shows at all, and definitely no definitive season openers like we’ve had in Septembers past. And the new shows that they’ve got are stale, stale, stale. A paraplegic psychic who solves crimes? A comedy import from Australia? GET OUT.
NO: Knight Rider.
NO: “SNL Thursday Night Live” — they do know that those initials mean something, and therefore the title is actually “Saturday Night Live Thursday Night Live,” right? Also: I don’t want any more political sketches than what we already have. And why Thursday? Why??
NO: Chuck has been renewed. I can’t quit it! If they air it, I will be forced to watch! And they’re following it with a spy drama starring Christian Slater. I quote from the description of his show, because its ridiculousness cannot be summarized:
Henry Spivey (Christian Slater, “Bobby”) is a middle-class efficiency expert living a humdrum life in the suburbs with a wife, two kids, a dog, and a minivan. Edward Albright is an operative who speaks 13 languages, runs a four-minute mile, and is trained to kill with his teeth. Henry and Edward are polar opposites who share only one thing in common — the same body. When the carefully constructed wall between them breaks down, Henry and Edward are thrust into unfamiliar territory where each man is dangerously out of his element. “My Own Worst Enemy” explores the duality of a man who is literally pitted against himself. And it raises the question: who can you trust when you can’t trust yourself?
What is this, written by Donald Kaufman?
MAYBE: I kind of like the idea of Merlin starring Anthony Head. Ditto for Ian McShane’s Kings.
That is the saddest slate of new shows I’ve seen in a long time. And this is not just because they’ve deprived me of my precious upfronts. I suppose I am resistant to change, even if it’s probably going to be good for me — in theory, I am all for year-round TV. In theory. But not if it’s going to be all diluted like this schedule.