As I’ve mentioned before, the Tonys are cheesy and weird and great. This year, I’d seen a whole bunch of the shows (at least one in every category, except for Special Theatrical Event), which made me feel like a real insider. However, there wasn’t much excitement — Coast of Utopia and Spring Awakening pretty much cleaned up. The only category where I had a strong opinion (Best Featured Actor in a Play) went to my favorite — Billy Crudup in Coast of Utopia — in the first ten minutes of the broadcast, so everything after that was a little bit of a let-down. Other thoughts:

• Whoever wrote the patter needs to learn how to EDIT. I could not believe how turgid each of the presenters’ speeches were. Where’s Bruce Vilanch when you need him?
• No host. Still felt long, though.
• There is officially no way that Viva Laughlin is as great as I want it to be, but I’m still going to watch every single episode.
• Why weren’t the Tonys broadcast in HD? CBS? American Theatre Wing? What are you hiding?
• David Hyde Pierce (Niles Crane) won Best Actor in a Musical, in what (to me, at least) was a huge upset. I’ve seen Curtains, and let’s just say… it stinks. What about the adorable young lad from Spring Awakening? He got naked on stage! Does that mean nothing nowadays?
• Sometimes I think I know a lot about theater and I’ll want to show off. Then this will happen. “That’s Audra McDonald. She’s won, like, a million Tonys.” “Oh yeah? What did she win for?” “Oh. Hm. Um…… Look, there’s a dancing chimneysweep!”
• An entertaining pastime: Figuring out the tenuous connections that the presenters have to the world of theater.

That pretty much sums it up. I really wish High Fidelity had stuck around and gotten nominated, not because it was good — it was, quite possibly, one of the most misguided shows I’ve ever seen — but because I want to share the experience with the television viewing public as a whole, and you people in particular, because I believe you would appreciate it ironically, which is the only way to appreciate it, frankly. Hey — look at this, if you dare.

Sorry I didn’t get this out until today. I’m afraid this means I am too late to tell you about the new Creature Comforts on CBS last night. Luckily a lot of the pieces are online — check them out.

Tonight marks the season premiere of My Life on the D-List. This is a show that’s much, much better than it has any right to be, as Dan has let us know. It’s also the last ever episode of Punk’d. Celebrities can finally rest easy renting cars or eating in restaurants or yelling at their assistants.

Top Chef starts another season on Wednesday. I might watch if I didn’t think it was going to make me crave even more rich deliciousness.

Apparently a lot of ladies watched The Starter Wife last week, which continues on Thursday. I was too busy with Studio 60 and the Spelling Bee. Speaking of, Studio 60 keeps hurtling toward the end.

Calling all theater nerds! The Tonys air on Sunday! I am proud to say that I have seen at least one show in every single category. And honestly, I have to bring that up whenever I can, because opportunities to brag about how many Broadway shows you’ve seen don’t come up all that often. I’m rooting for Spring Awakening and Billy Crudup in their respective categories.

John from Cincinnati, from Deadwood’s David Milch, starts on Sunday. Which reminds me it’s not too late to order HBO in time to watch. I am so excited about this show; everyone who’s seen it is blown away. And the third season of Deadwood comes out on DVD on the 12th! Finally!

They announced the nominees for the Soap Opera Awards.  I mean, the Daytime Emmys.

There are lots of nominees for the daytime dramas, but I can't imagine anyone's curious (the nominees are here, if you are). I still think it's funny that Passions gets nominated for stuff (see pic of people lookin' sexy).

I'm scrolling through, trying to find something people might be interested in and coming up kind of dry.  There's the game show category, which this year features Jeopardy!, The Price is Right and Meredith Vieira's Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. Best game show host has the guy from Cash Cab, Alex Trebek, Bob Barker, Pat Sajak and Meredith Vieira.  It's kind of depressing — the game show categories.  Aside from Cash Cab and, to a lesser extent, Vieira's Millionaire, these people have been doing this since I was a cluster of cells.  Does anything really change?  Did Alex ask the questions particularly well this year, pronouncing the foreign words with a special grace?  Did Bob Barker keep his temper in check better than ever after being assaulted by the zillionth Boise housewife?

Aside from that, the best talk show nominees are Ellen's show, The View, Rachael Ray's show, Tyra Banks' show (who has been on the empowerment warpath ever since those swimsuit pictures came out) and Dr. Phill with his big, fat Texas head.

Fun fact: MTV's Made is up for an Emmy for "Special Class Series," which I'm guessing is a euphemism for "everything else."  It's up against Animal Rescue, A Baby Story, Judge Judy and Starting Over.

Of course I'm happy The Departed/Marty won. But there were a few genuinely amusing moments during last night's Oscars that had little if anything to do with the films and people nominated. They're the reason the telecast was ohmygod four hours long, but they made me smile.

In particular, there was Will Ferrell and Jack Black on not being Oscar material. In song. 

I also liked the sound effects choir and Tom Hanks making fun of Chris Connelly. What do you think? Any other bright spots in the endless, pointless pageantry?

Also, we saw the suicidal robot ad again, and they changed the ending. Weak, GM. If you're going to have an extremely offensive suicidal robot, don't water it down. Just go for it.

Friday's Motto: We're Not Even Trying. Sigh. There's a new Monk tonight. And VH1 is showing Wet Hot American Summer — though I'd recommend renting/netflixing it if you're new to its awesomeness, so it's not the neutered version.

As Dan pointed out, Rainn Wilson is hosting SNL this weekend. I'm going to go ahead and say that I think this is going to be great. Not only is Rainn hilarious, and actually kind of cute when his hair's not all Dwight-y, but usually the slightly less famous hosts tend to work harder at SNL, resulting in much better shows.

Also on Saturday, the Independent Spirit Awards. Or the Film Independent's Spirit Awards. Or just the Spirit Awards. Who knows. They're kind of fun, usually, though after the Sarah Silverman Program on Comedy Central I think I've had enough Sarah Silverman to last me quite some time. (Yes, that show was/is [I've given up] that annoying. And I love Sarah Silverman.) 

The Oscars are Sunday. Whop-de-doo! I'm rooting for The Departed, because it was great, and also because I feel so bleh about the rest of them. 

And who dares to program against the Oscars? Why, it's none other than plucky Battlestar Galactica. This week's episode was written by Jane Espenson. 

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: Look, I'm going to count the Spirit Awards, the Oscars, and Wet Hot American Summer for this part of the post. What more do you want from me, people??? 

Single tear.

Tonight marks the final episode of the O.C. I will always remember this show fondly, even though I haven't watched it in years, for the summer when I was interning and didn't have cable or any friends and there was absolutely nothing new on TV ever, and then — miraculously — this show suddenly appeared for the first time, and it was silly and melodramatic but Seth Cohen was awesome and suddenly everything was okay again. Thanks, O.C.

Grey's Anatomy wraps up its cliffhanger. Look, I'd love to be proved wrong, because that would certainly be a bold choice, but they're not going to kill their narrator. (I don't know, I'm no expert. I still haven't watched last week's episode.) 

Oh, the dramedy. Jan and Michael take it public on The Office. Their relationship makes me so anxious. The strange thing is, by now I feel like I empathize with Michael so much I'm mostly uncomfortable on his behalf, not Jan's — I don't want him to screw up his own life, but I know he just can't help it. I mean, Michael and Pam's hug last week? Did anyone not cry? 

30 Rock: Hijinks ensue.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: Nothing can beat the woman with a baby in her abdomen. Nothing. Not even tonight's Oprah's Oscar special, which as far as I can tell does not really include Oprah. Julia Roberts talks to George Clooney, Nicole Kidman chats with Russell Crowe, and Jamie Foxx gabs with Sidney Poitier. 

I don't care if he can see the future, if he's already lived it, or if he's just nuts, I love Desmond like The Others love kidnapping. Like Sawyer loves nicknames. Like Charlie loves being a whiny baby.

But sadly, we're back with Jack and Sawyer and Kate this week. So probably no Desmond. And Charlie probably doesn't die. YET.

And there are a bunch of shows I don't watch: American Idol, ugh, again, FOREVER; Jericho, some sort of a "hit" now, even though the pilot was predictable and silly; Friday Night Lights, which is gets this year's Veronica Mars Award For Best Show No One Watches; and Top Design, which I hear from some very reputable sources is terrible. Apparently Wednesdays without Desmond make me very negative.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: OMG. OMG. Gross. This is the description of a TLC show called That's Gotta Hurt: "A BASE jumper's botched landing into a shallow river drives his femur through his flesh; a seven-month pregnant woman learns that her baby is growing in her abdominal cavity, not her womb." EEEE!!! Followed by Menopause at 22, which is pretty much self-explanatory, and probably a relief after that whole abdominal womb thing.

I told you before, and now it's finally here.  Maria Bamford 's new comedy special will air tonight at 10:30 on Comedy Central.

Here's a clip:

So tonight, after work, set your TiFaux before you take your disco nap.  Then wake up, head out and watch it tomorrow when you're hung over. 

So the brief, nonspecific, unreliable summary for Gilmore Girls tonight kind of implies that Rory's going to develop a thing for her professor. Um, Show? You've been down this road before, back when even Rory thought it was a bad idea. And she thought it was cool to sleep with her married ex-boyfriend, so that's saying something. While I'm all about Rory ditching Logan, I've always hoped it was going to be someone normal for a change. Who isn't too stupid, too unreliable, too married, too pampering, or too much of a philandering jackass. Whatever. I give up.

The singing talent show continues.

A girl can't feel pain on House. This disease must be sweeping the nation. Academy Award Nominee ® Abigail Breslin had the same thing on Grey's a while back. 

Veronica Mars gets back to solving mysteries instead of confusingly calling things by the wrong name. Whew.

And in the not-the-same-old-stuff-everyday category, attention former theater nerds: ABC Family is replaying the Brandy version of Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella from 10 years ago. (Shit, I'm old.) Victor Garber, Bernadette Peters, and Whitney Houston are in it, too. 

The 131st Westminster Kennel Dog Club Show continues as well. Puppies! 

That's right, there are two hours of 24 tonight. Though I still feel like I'm still waiting for this season to start the addictive thrills. Maybe tonight?

The two-hour 24 means that I will not harp on you like I usually do about Everybody Hates Chris, as the TiFaux had to kick it off the recording list because there's just too much awesomeness on at the same time.

How I Met Your Mother — Ted finds a lucky penny and bad things happen to him. Most of the time, this show ends up being better than its description (gang goes to too many new year's parties, Marshall and Ted sword fight, etc), and I sincerely hope that's the case here, because that description sounds so precious I almost want to barf.

Nathan is Claire's dad on Heroes. So Peter's her uncle. I thought she had a little crush on him, so that's gross, now. Thanks, show. 

Studio 60 has a flashback episode. If I weren't already queasy from the HIMYM plot description and the idea of Claire hooking up with her uncle, I would be from this. The thing is — we all know what Matthew Perry looked like ten years ago. And I still love him, but he doesn't look like that any more. Also, this show makes me die inside. 

If you're sick of the same old shows I always talk about, and you love puppies, you might be interested to know that the 131st Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show is on tonight and tomorrow on USA. 

And finally, I'd just like to say that I called it about Forest "zzzzzzz" Whitaker, who completely sucked on SNL on Saturday, even in my new favorite sketch (after Peter O'Toole), Bronx Beat. Here's the first (cuter) Bronx Beat: