5. When I realized during the season premiere of Degrassi: The Next Generation that Season 8 would mark a return to classic theme-song territory

OK, yeah, it’s more of a pop-punk cover of the Degrassi theme than the original gospel glee club incarnation, and I have no idea what to think of these new grade eight kids who are really more like Degrassi: Is This a New Generation Yet? I’m Still Figuring Out Whether I Belong to X or Y, but after a ridiculous hiatus that featured our favorite Canadians striking poses like the cheese-tastic recent opening credits for The City, the show’s opening once again glories to the sight of all cast members, no matter how peripheral or in some cases yet-to-be-formally-introduced, mugging for the camera while engaged in school activities. Whatever it takes indeed.

4. When Olivia Munn led an impromptu chant of “USA! USA!” on Attack of the Show

This may have happened more than once. I almost always find it funny.

I'm looking for a book on terminator infestations.

Seriously, I have to hand it to the Terminators: even when they screw up, they’re willing to wait for a hundred years inside of a wall to fix it. And to kill you.

2. When Pam and Jim Got Engaged

This little scene is everything that’s wonderful about the Pam-Jim relationship: sweet, unadorned, and completely free of Friends-style soapiness:

1. When Liz Lemon terrorized her staff by promising that “you’ll all have chins!”

Little on TV delights me as much as 30 Rock (Steve Martin lamenting “I miscounted the men!” could’ve just as easily made this list), and just about nothing on TV delighted me as much as this particular moment which, even better, is virtually impossible to explain. It’s a moment from the episode “Sandwich Day,” and it’s not available on NBC’s website. Basically, Liz Lemon, brandishing an awards statuette, threatens Kenneth the page, telling him to get her another sandwich or “I’ll cut your face up so bad you’ll have a chin.” Funny enough, but when Liz stepped back, statuette still in hand, and nonsensically opened up her threat to the rest of the room, I pretty much died.

Anything I could say about the first three shows has been said a million times before by every critic. They’re just good TV. As for Terminator, come on kids give it a chance! Shirley Manson as urinal-bot mom, awkward terminator humor (see Marissa’s #4), trips to Mexico for burritos… how can you go wrong?

Best International Reality Show: Project Runway Australia

I think the contestants in this version may have out polite-d the Canadian version. The show is very similar to the first season of the American version except the Tim Gunn guy looks like the old dude from the Six Flags commercials. The contestants are all loveable, and are even nice enough to pretend they’re interested in meeting Kelly Rowland. Sadly, Kristy Hinze as host is not as funny/scary as Iman but is comparable to Heidi Klum.

Best Unaired Commercial: AFSCME
My favorite Youtube discovery of ’08, audio NSFW.

Best Shows To Catch Up On Your iPod

Dead Set – Also on Dan’s list, it’s just fun filler and more like a zombie movie broken up into 5 parts than an actual TV show.

Breaking Bad – It’s the dad from Malcolm in the Middle as a high school chemistry teacher who brews meth and uses Mr. Wizard-esque science against drug dealers. Bryan Cranston looks and acts identical to my high school chem teacher, right down to the moustache. No wonder he won an Emmy for outstanding lead actor in a drama.

Summer Heights High – Comedian Chris Lilley plays an obnoxious rich girl, an overdramatic drama teacher, and a Polynesian break dancer who all attend the same high school. The series ends with a Hamlet 2 style musical denouncing drugs and sluttiness and lauding the drama teacher for his work keeping kids clean. The show also contains an unusually large amount of penis graffiti (always a win in my book).

The Funniest 7 Minutes of a Music Themed Episode: Haven’t you heard?

What can I say, I’m an idiot who loves juvenile stuff. Here’s 7 minutes of The Bird Is The Word jokes (ignore the rest of the episode since it’s crap).

5. How I Met Your Mother‘s Sly References to My Life

I realize that this may not interest anyone but me, but that’s why it’s at No. 5. And I also realize that a lot of people also say, “That show is just like my LIFE!” when, in fact, the similarities are not all that impressive. (Wow, you wear overpriced clothes and guzzle down pink drinks at horrible, sceney bars? You’re just like the people on Sex and the City.) In fact, if you’re around my age, and especially if you’re my age and you live in New York, there are probably a lot of things about How I Met Your Mother that resemble situations from your life.

But there are a couple really, really specific references to my life in How I Met Your Mother, and I love seeing them turn up. The first is that the creator went to my college, and he’s always including little nods to the alma mater. At first it was just a college tee-shirt here and there, until they finally admitted that the characters went to my school. But even better than the outright admission are the little references: For example, Marshall briefly worked at a law firm called Nicholson, Hewitt, and West—which happened to be the names of our three freshmen dorms.

But even better than that is my favorite reference of all—which, fine, happened in 2007, but like Dan I didn’t see the episode until 2008, so it counts—is the episode where they make fun of my favorite hometown amusement park: Rye Playland. In HIMYM it turns up as “Tuckahoe Funland,” probably because they make reference to a myriad of deaths that have happened there. Sadly, this is true for my park as well.

4. Cameron’s Small Wonder Moments

When prompted to justify why I still watch Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, I usually say I tune in to see robots fight other robots. And yes, that is probably the reason why I watch the show—it sure ain’t to hear a thoughtful and sound meditation on time travel.

But really, my favorite parts on the show are when they make fun of Cameron’s robotic cluelessness. She’s needlessly literal, like Amelia Bedelia! She has no social graces and tells people their exact weight to their faces! She learned how to say, “That’s tight!” Really, it’s kind of hilarious. This is probably my favorite exchange on the whole series, and it starts with Cameron looking blank-eyed in the middle of the living room:

Cameron: This is the absolute center of the house.

John: Excellent, good work.

Cameron: The house is moving.

John: What?

Cameron: Moving. The east by southeast section of the house is moving.

John: Really. Where’s it going?

Cameron: Down. At a rate of point nine three millimeters per year.

John: And what? Does that affect the security system or, uh, sightlines with the night scope—how does this affect the safety of one John Connor?

Cameron: It doesn’t. But next summer, we’re going to have to repaint.

Yes, it has nothing to do with fighting cyborgs or saving the universe from Skynet, but I like when they take the time to consider the actual real-life complications of living with a robot.

3. Amy Ryan’s Earnestness

I thought she was good as a toughened Southie in Gone, Baby, Gone, but Amy Ryan is even better as a guileless dork-match for Michael Scott on The Office. His life depresses me, and somehow it was even sadder to learn that there were two of them out there. Then it was even more heartbreaking that they didn’t get to stay together.

The most heart-wrenching fact of all is knowing that they have no immediate plans to bring her back. I know she’s super-talented and probably is moving on to bigger and better things, and it would’ve been hard to sustain Holly and Michael together without it getting sickening. But it’s not as easy as it looks to so goofy and so likable, and she was a good member of the ensemble.

2. Futurama‘s Nerdly Goodness

Futurama gives me hope that every canceled show I love might somehow find a second life somewhere. (I try not to be bitter that a uglier, less funny animated show got canceled around the same time, and brought back to spawn a rip-off and a spin-off, but that’s besides the point.) The best thing about 2008 is that it saw TWO Futurama movies: Beast with a Billion Backs and Bender’s Game. What’s even better is that both of these movies manage to be very different: the first is kind of a B-movie that, if I’m honest, grosses me out a little. (They use the word “genticle,” as in a cross between “genital” and “tentacle.”) As a result, I prefer the second, which is more of a sci-fi fantasy epic, which I like because it sticks it to the Lord of the Rings movies. Keep ‘em coming, geeks!

1. Olive Snook’s Musical Interludes

I love Pushing Daisies. I love it when Olive Snook sings. I promised myself I wouldn’t overuse the clip of her doing “Eternal Flame,” but oh, what the heck. Watch and try not to be moved.

They earn extra points for the way Ned interrupts every time she says, “Say my name!”

Bonus Mini-List!

Here are the five things I shout most often at the television. I’ll let you guess which shows I’m talking about.

5. “It’s not lupus!”

4. “I don’t think we should record this next season.”

3. “She’s a robot!”

2. “Is this a flashback or a flash-forward?!”

1. “Awww.”

]]> http://www.tifaux.com/2009/01/06/the-best-of-everything-marisa%e2%80%99s-list-for-2008/feed/ 3 http://www.tifaux.com/2008/02/26/the-more-you-know-homeless-dc-crackheads-edition/ http://www.tifaux.com/2008/02/26/the-more-you-know-homeless-dc-crackheads-edition/#comments Tue, 26 Feb 2008 13:06:28 +0000 John http://www.tifaux.com/2008/02/26/the-more-you-know-homeless-dc-crackheads-edition/

• Here’s another article saying that the strike is almost over.
• NBC has picked up Kath and Kim without even seeing a pilot.
• Comedy Central is roasting Willie Nelson.
• HBO will stream the first 15 episodes of In Treatment for free.
• Big Brother is turning off the air conditioning so people will wear less clothes.  I can’t say this is really surprising.  Just creative.
• Here’s a new Ask Ausiello with info on the last episodes of Scrubs.
• Thomas Dekker thinks Hayden and Milo are creepy.
• On a new Lifetime show, 100 men will compete for a date with one woman.  Who is apparently awesome because she can shoot lasers out of her boobs.  Or something.

• God willing, the strike is almost done! And Ausiello lets us know about the possible returns of some ABC shows.
• USA Today ranks the Superbowl ads.
• AfterElton isn’t pleased by the Richard Simmons commercial.
• Richard Hatch is staying in jail.
• Cracked lists the five questions the Lost writers need to answer.
• Food Network is creating a magazine.
• We’re being invaded by Canada. At least on TV.
• Fans of The 4400 are doing the “don’t cancel my show, we’re sending you a lot of one thing in the mail” thing. This time, with sunflower seeds.
• The star of the Terminator show is tired of being compared to Linda Hamilton. Even though it’s completely natural to.
• Baltimore Magazine goes behind the scenes of The Wire.

(Up front: I’ve never been obsessed with the Terminator movies — I’ve seen them each once — but I think they’re good fun. Except for the third one, which was disappointing. You don’t have to be a superfan to like the show. But knowing about the movies — a cursory glance at wikipedia will do — may help.)

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I will rave a bit.

I love the dynamic that a helpful pretty lady robot brings to the intense mother-son dynamic of John and Sarah. To Sarah she’s a Cinderella: the hated stepdaughter, serving a purpose but always in the way and underfoot. But there are hints (watching the gangbanger put make-up on her, protecting her from the cops) that having a “daughter” will be good for Sarah. It’s a different challenge than raising the Savior of Mankind. Trusting a robot isn’t in Sarah’s nature, but she can talk to the ‘bot the way she can’t to John — she can be completely honest, with no repercussions. She needs that.

And to John the robot’s a protector (like Arnold was, but Arnold was the dad figure — and notice, still, how much time John’s spending fixating on Charley [who I'd like to still call Dennis in honor of his roll as the beeper king on 30 Rock] — why doesn’t Future John send him another dad figure from the future, if he’s so broken up about it? Because his future self knows he needs to stop obsessing over dad* and grow up, that’s why), but also she’s someone to pull him out of his mother-son bond, to bring him into the real world. If the only thing he cares about is his mother and he has no friends and no interest in the rest of the world, what kind of a lousy Savior of Mankind is going to be?

I mean, let’s put the cards on the table: He’s a smart kid. He’s got to eventually realize that his future self sent him a sex robot. Right? And how weird is that? And how weird is it that River (she has no name, even though the TiFaux calls her Cameron – hardy-har, TiFaux, I’m so amused — so I’m calling her by her Firefly moniker) seems so close to future John Connor, knows everything his says, all his most intimate memories? She’s a sex robot. That’s all I’m saying.

Also, the pace on this show is just right. Unlike a lot of pilots (Bionic Woman, I’m looking your way in particular — also stealing glances at the failed Drive from this time last year) nothing about this set-up seems rushed or forced. The entire second episode was just getting a set of new identities. We’re still learning about these people and their weird relationships, so I’m hugely relieved they didn’t try to cram too much into these first few hours.

I can hear your cackles and guffaws. But I’m standing by this one. And not just because the writer’s strike is sucking away my will to live.

*Also, if this show lasts, I’d love to see a baby Kyle Reese** show up eventually. You know, in a fourth season when they need some new blood to liven things up. He’d be the Andy Keaton or Scrappy Doo or the Dawn of this show. No one can tell him that he’s John’s daddy! Shhhh!
**ALSO also, if the robots are so smart, why don’t they just go kill Kyle Reese’s mother before he’s born? I mean, how hard could that be?

Last night, when I wasn’t fast-forwarding through the already abbreviated Globes (as Kyle mentioned, my goal was to never hear Billy Bush speak extemporaneously, and I succeeded), I caught the premiere of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. I have to say, I thought it was tops. A solid A- pilot. The second “premiere hour” is tonight, so do take a look.

The story takes place between movies two and three. For those who have only seen each movie once (or never), that means that future Savior of All Mankind, John Connor, is about 15. He’s played by Thomas Dekker, who you may remember from the Zach-is-gay-no-he’s-not controversy of early Heroes episodes. He has a good sense of earnest whinyness, and he looks convincingly enough like a cross between young Edward Furlong (movie 2) and youngish Nick Stahl (movie 3). His mother, as played by Lena Headey, maintains the suspicious toughness of the movie Sarah — and her horrible haircut. I was relieved that they cast someone who can pull off the toughness, unlike the pasty and meek Bionic Woman.

But all of that’s just window dressing for the plot, which I won’t get into here because it genuinely surprised me last night and I don’t want to ruin it. Like any story involving time travel, this one’s convoluted and paradoxical, but it’s trying something new — and it’s different enough from the movie to be fresh and interesting. Suffice to say, there are good robots and there are bad robots, and there are people who are going to blow up the world, and it’s exciting and full of questions. (For example — don’t read this if you don’t want a mild spoiler — why would Future John Connor send Young John Connor a sexy young lady robot to protect him? Is he messing with his younger self? He is, isn’t he?)

Also, a robot said “Come with me if you want to live.” Always a great line.