April 10 is nearing.  Can’t you just taste it?

Just Jared has some pictures from the new episode of The Office. Savor it, relish it. Caress it like a naughty, naughty lover.

NBC does have a promo running for The Office’s return, but it’s a pretty awful, unironic, shot-through-gauze ad that doesn’t give you any meat to chew on. If you feel you need to watch it, I’ve embedded it below. I guarantee you’ll be left with a feeling of emptiness.

I think we all wanted Unhitched to work for Rashida Jones’ sake.

She had to move on after The Office — right? I mean, after Karen got unceremoniously dumped by Jim after last season’s finale, they could’ve kept her around. But it would’ve been a constant well of anxiety — and not the kind that is conducive to comedy.

So, she gets her new show and it has promise from the description — cutie Craig Bierko co-stars (with two other guys you definitely haven’t heard of) in a sitcom about young divorcees in Boston. Hooray! Hopefully it’ll be a cynical, but hip and smart, send-up of modern romance. Optimism! Maybe she’ll have a chance to shine on her own, not living in the shadow of John Krasinski’s Impish Smirk ™. Mirth!

Sadly, it wasn’t meant to be.

The group gathers because something weird happened to Craig Bierko’s butt. It’s not really worth explaining.

Based on the pilot, there’s just not a whole lot there to get excited about. Bierko leads the ensemble as they each have their own disastrous romantic entanglements (a prolonged date with a call girl, one character’s misguided romantic interest in a 16-year-old) — but none of them are buoyed by particularly clever dialogue or interesting characters.

Take Jones’ pickle — she’s insecure about dating a short guy. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a short guy who happens to like even shorter guys, but the conflict was half-developed and his super-secret surprise (I won’t spoil you) isn’t particularly knee-slapping.

The supporting characters are uninspiring too. There’s The Indian Guy, whose biggest comedic asset is his exaggerated accent. I’m not going to play up the ethnic stereotype aspect — because it’s totally not worth getting into — but the character is just lame and uninspired. The other character who, as best I can tell is just a vaguely stonerish ne’er-do-well, fares even worse.

It’s probably just nostalgia that raise my hopes for Unhitched to be better than it really ever had a chance to be. Despite all this, the cast is vaguely likable enough to give it another episode to improve. But, then again, unless you’re some dork with a TV blog I can’t imagine you would have any good reason to give it a second chance.

• 30 Rock gets back to work
• 5 years ago Joe Millionaire was rocking our world
• Barring a miracle, Bionic Woman is cancelled.
• An interview with The Office’s BJ Novak
• Apple will be selling tunes from American Idol
• Friday Night Lights might wrap up the series as a two-hour long movie

• Creators of Will and Grace to rip off themselves
• Jimmy Kimmel is fucking Ben Affleck. I knew he was gay!
• No shit, Veronica Mars was thinking about taking a gig on Lost instead of Heroes
• Writing for the new episodes of The Office begins
• The Wire’s Dominic West gives directing a shot
• Newest Save Our Show stunt? Mailing hair to save Cavemen
• TLC’s newest show is about making stay at home mothers feel depressed about their lives

Sorry kids I have Fridays off, so here’s your news 16 hours early.

• Schrute bucks? More like Schrute’s butt
• Expect more Americanized versions of British shows in the near future
• Jane Fonda will see you next Tuesday
• Now that the writers strike is over, we can move on to the actors strike
• Stripper from Saved by the Bell to host Project Runway-esque dance competition on Bravo
• Creator/executive producer of My Name is Earl got a job at a fast food restaurant during the strike
• I’m in love! Project Runway in 60 seconds. Last week’s episode is hysterical as well
• The Hillary video was bad, but I’m too scared to even watch Chippendale dancers on the The View

If you’re going to see it, wait til it’s on video. I was dangerously close to vomiting the entire time.

• Looks like Yul from Survivor is all over the place. This time, unsuccessfully trying to open a yogurt shop.
• The WGA won’t picket the Grammys.
• In other strike news, the writers have dropped their demands to unionize reality and animation writers.
• No upfronts for NBC this year.
• Ask Ausiello has scoop on Lost and Veronica Mars (!).
• Sarah Michelle Gellard nixes a Buffy movie.
• They are looking for activists for the next Real World.
• The Real World/Road Rules Gauntlet 3 debuts tonight, despite God’s will.
• Here’s a video update from The Office picketers.
• Oxygen has renewed Tori Spelling’s Inn Love.

Remember The Office?

Sigh…

It’s Mid-Atlantic Leather Weekend!  Who wants a leather daddy?  I do, I do!

• Tracy Ullman turning to Showtime for her new sketch comedy show.
• Clay Aiken is going to be in Monty Python’s Spamalot.
• Angela and Oscar from The Office are spending their time off gestating babies and judging for Last Comic Standing.
• Joshua Malina discusses the fate of Big Shots.
• Kristin from E! talks Moonlight and asks whether the TV season is actually over.
• The costume designers have unveiled their nominees for their award show.
• Regarding the subject of this news post: no, I actually don’t.  Just to clear that up.  But if you want one, God bless…

The Golden Globes were announced this morning and every show you don’t watch was nominated.

First and foremost, The Office was snubbed for Best Comedy in favor of pay-for-me cable shows Entourage, Extras and Californication. And Pushing Daisies (which, hooray!). I’ve had a “Has Everybody Gone Mad?” draft post on the TiFaux back-end for like nine years, so I can’t say I’m thrilled to see it get another nod. Plus, Jeremy Piven got nominated and doesn’t he always win everything? Like, wasn’t he in Oslo for the Nobel proceedings to pick something up for portraying a slightly exaggerated version of himself on Entourage? The good news is that he’s too hot for me to stay mad at (although my secret, not-based-in-reality-at-all theory is that he always takes his mom to reward shows so that he can drop her off afterwards and then flirt with Jessica Alba or whoever).

Where was I? Golden Globes…

As far as the premium channel shows go, that seemed to be the name of the game. All these shows I don’t watch and generally aren’t even a part of my television consciousness walked away with buckets of nominations. Big Love, Californication, Extras (which I can’t begrudge), The Tudors and all sorts of other crap you don’t watch. Well, not crap. If I didn’t know how great Weeds and Dexter were from firsthand viewing experience, I’d hate them too.

Also, weirdo basic cable shows like Saving Grace, The Riches, Mad Men and Damages got a hefty portion of the nominations. I’m sure I’d be happy for them, but who has time to watch FX? Hell, I just realized that Steve Carell’s nomination is the show’s only one. Boo, hiss.

Well, let’s focus on the positive now. 30 Rock and Pushing Daisies! Tina Fey! Lee Pace and Anna Friel! Alec Baldwin! Michael C. Hall! Donald Sutherland!

Take a look at the nominees here.

They paint pictures of all sorts of fictional characters — Shakesperean, mythological, those derived from classical literature. Why not the culture that we all actually pay attention to? You know, the stuff we turn to because we want to and not because we feel like we should enjoy it.

In that vein, here are some wobbly pictures that this girl from Philadelphia drew of characters from The Office. They’re all on her Etsy store. Christmas gifts, anyone?

And…

She’s also got Toby, Kelly, Dwight, Jim and more.

Thanks to TiFaux pal Kate for pointing this out.