• This is getting ridiculous: Sign up for the Veronica Mars cruise
• Pretty sneaky sis: Project Runway may leave, but NBC keeps its producers
• Angela Kinsey from The Office gave birth on Saturday
• Lindsay Lohan will appear in a 6 episode stint on Ugly Betty
• Fox Reality Channel to launch new reality show recap show called Reality Binge
• Deadwood prostitute gets gig on Caprica
• Stephen Colbert wins a Webby for being the Internet’s “Person of the Year”
• Battlestar Galactica Last Supper photo analysis: Logically the final Cylon should be…
• Look for 2 hours of Office reruns every Sunday on NBC
• The Reaper Save Our Show campaign is up and running
• This day in lists: TV characters who were recast mid-series

Previously, on Work Out:

The producers arranged for activities that would exploit the trainers for the lesbian and gay crowds respectively.

Jackie took the female trainers on a lesbian cruise so that there would be ample opportunity for girl-on-girl action as well as a hefty product placement fee for the cruise line. Rebecca seeks attention and finds it, given that the hot, hot Work Out ladies are the best thing to ever happen to that cruise. Vanessa Renessa decides to do some gay experimenting the old-fashioned way, by getting wasted and putting the moves on the worst possible person (read: Jackie). Also, Jackie confronts Erika about her suspected bulimia and everybody watching at home is mortified that this was done on camera.

Meanwhile, Peeler recruits all of the guys to take off their shirts and roll around gratuitously in the mud. It’s disgusting. Disgustingly HOT! And, in the most shameless moment of a particularly shameless episode of a ridiculously shameless series, they have thirty seconds worth of footage (some in slow motion) of the boys rinsing the mud off of themselves in an outdoor public shower facility.

And now, on to the lesbians! Well, actually lesbian. Jasmine is off this week.

Fabian from Lawrence, Kansas writes: OMG! I love you gurlz and I love Work Out! Did you see it when Peeler and J.D. and them were showering off after running in the mud? How can you not think that is the hawttest!

Sam: No, Fabian, I don’t think they are the “hawttest.” I’m attracted to women, not men, reason why I’m a lesbian. Get it?

Dolores from Indiana wonders: Hi! I’m a sophomore in college and I have been watching Work Out since the first season. Now that I’m in college, I was wondering if I should have my first lesbian experience. I like boys, for sure, but do you think all girls have the possibility of being lesbians — like Renessa and her fooling around with women?

Sam: Well, Dolores, first off, we need to determine a few things. What is your major? Do you live in a coed dorm? If you are women’s studies major living in an all girls dorm, you go to town and enjoy life. But please do realize, with messing around with women comes drama, whether you like it or not. Unless you can get really drunk and end up at a sorority party so that way you both can deny you had any idea it was happening the next morning. Just a few suggestions…

Jessica from Seattle wants to know: Jackie’s drama with Rebecca just won’t stop! Does lesbian drama ever end?

Sam: No, it doesn’t. It sucks.

Bruno from Albany asks: Why do so many lesbians have mullets? There were more than a few on that cruise…

Sam: My dear friend Bruno, I really have NO CLUE why lesbians insist on having mullets. Maybe they just feel like they need the hair cut so that other women know they are lesbians. Maybe its some form of mating call that I’ve been completely unaware of, like, “look out how long my mullet is, don’t you want to go home with me?”. But lets be honest, chances are if they have that hair cut, they are also wearing baggy jeans/cargo shorts, doc martins or Birkenstock’s, and a wallet chain…they don’t need the haircut, we can clearly see they are lesbians. Please join the cause and inform the next lesbian you see that has a mullet she doesn’t need to sport that haircut. I’ll do the same at my biweekly meetings at Home Depot.

• Broccolini on the Ledo Deck: Top Chef, the cruise?
• 90210 snags one of the kids from The Wire
• Craig Ferguson may be the next Letterman
• SF Gate: Fixing the mess that is this TV season
• “The Hills is just Friends for a new generation“, says blogger
• Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse discuss Matthew Fox’s “Lost” chest hair
  
• RIP Men in Trees
• Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane is officially filthy fucking rich
• This day in lists: More classic television commercials
• TV on DVD:
  

  4400, The	Season 4
  Acapulco H.E.A.T.	The Complete Series
  Adventures of Teddy Ruxpin, The	Vol 2: Mysteries of Hard to Find City
  Allo ‘Allo!	Complete Series 8
  Avatar: The Last Airbender	Book 3: Fire, Volume 3
  Bewitched	The Complete 6th Season: Original Color Edition
  Champions of the Wild	Marine Life, Our Wildlife, Primate, Pandas and Bears
  Crossing Jordan	Season 1
  Greg the Bunny	Best Of The Film Parodies Volume 2
  Haunting, A	Hauntings in America
  Jack Benny Program, The	The Jack Benny Show
  Madeline	Next Stop, America
  Man Vs. Wild	Collection 1
  Punky Brewster	Season 1, Vol. 1
  Sergeant Preston of the Yukon	Best Of
  Speed Racer: The Next Generation	Vol 1: The Beginning
  Spider-Man	The Mutant Agenda
  That Girl	Season 1, Vol. 1
  Trailer Park Boys	Season 7

I really wish I could muster up some enthusiasm for this season of Top Chef. While it’s not necessarily bad, it’s also not extraordinarily compelling TV.

To make things worse, they’ve taken my beloved Kiwi — curly-mopped, hot-tattooed and Tom-hating Mark. I haven’t necessarily grown an insane, dead-eyed devotion to him the way I’ve loved others (here’s looking at you, Rami), but he made the time go by a bit easier.

Even though we’re only halfway through the season, it’s looking pretty clear who the top four are going to be. I’m sure they’ll pull a Tre at some point and eliminate a front-runner, but there are seemingly only a few real contenders.

So, let’s round up the leaders so far — neatly divided into two boys and two girls.

Antonia - Coming off the heels of a double win in this most recent episode, I think she’s the odds-on favorite to win the whole shebang. Just think — 2008 is year of the first female Biggest Loser and potentially Top Chef. It’s like Susan B. Anthony’s dreams are coming alive right before our eyes.

Richard - I have no real reason to dislike Richard except for his hairdo and his creepy comment about “making babies” in last week’s episode. I mean, I get what he means, but the phrase “making babies” makes me think of assembly lines and doll parts and Vincent Price putting a cookie heart in front of a machine. In any case, he’s constantly winning and does all of the Marcel-ian molecular gastronomy without being a mad scientist about it.

Stephanie - I knew that Stephanie was in trouble at the beginning of last episode when they started paying attention to her at the beginning of the episode. It’s like the Chekhov-ian pistol-firing concept applied to reality TV — if a person is featured at the beginning of the episode, they’re generally going to win/get cut at the end. She may be a bit less consistent, but she’s got a good track record of wins.

Dale - I don’t care for this one at all — mostly due to his crotch-grabbing rant during the weirdo fight post-Zoi’s elimination. Seems like a pretty good cook, but I’m silly and petty and only base my opinions on personality rather than talent.

• With the Sex and the City movie looming, Buzz proposed a dozen essential episodes of the series to watch before May 30. (BuzzSugar)
• With the start of season 2 of Robin Hood on BBC America, Sandie shared her interview with Richard Armitage, who plays Guy of Gisbourne. (Daemon’s TV)
• Marcia created a Lost drinking game, ensuring that she’ll never again be sober on Thursday nights. (Pop Vultures)
• Want to know what you will be listening at the beach or on your road trip this summer? Scooter runs down twenty-five albums that will be released over the next four months. (Scooter McGavin’s 9th Green)
• With apologies to Supernatural, Scrubs and My Name Is Earl, Vance is supa dupa excited from the amazing Thursday onslaught of Ugly Betty, Grey’s Anatomy, 30 Rock, Lost, The Office and Survivor. (Tapeworthy)
• This week, while Jace thrilled over Doctor Who and his casting scoop (Catherine O’Hara signs on for Rob Thomas’ new drama pilot Good Behavior), he once again found himself enthralled by the latest episode of Lost. (Televisionary)
• In the wake of a prominent death on Battlestar Galactica, Dan got all Mr. Wizard on us and did some hasty internet research on what would actually happen to you if you got sucked out of the airlock and into outer space. It ain’t pretty. (TiFaux)
• Jennifer was outraged to hear of the impending cancellation of Aliens in America and launched into a red-faced rant about the current state of television. (Tube Talk)
  Raoul talked to the rather fascinating Lauren of America’s Next Top Model (TV Filter)

Week’s over.

This is a nice song to listen to at the end of a warm Friday afternoon.

It’s She and Him, a collaboration of singer-songwriter M. Ward and actress Zooey Deschanel, on Craig Ferguson. Corny, I know, but I like the relaxed, twangy vocals.

Kind of makes me want a mint julep. And an old dog named Sal.

(via Stereogum)

Okay, so what in the sam hill is going on with this 90210 spin-off? I keep hearing rumblings about it and weirdo casting news, but I can’t for the life of me figure out what exactly it’s going to be.

For the record, let it be known that I never watched the original series. And you can believe me on that — I’ve embarrassed myself enough in the electronic pages of this blog to admit when I’ve watched a crappy show, so I believe I’ve built up my credibility at least a little bit.

But I can’t quite figure out if this is going to be a continuation of the story or just an updated version — like when Ethan Hawke pretended he was Hamlet and he carried around a camcorder.

Right now, the show is shaping up to be a Frankenstein’s monster of television eras. Arrested Development’s Jessica Walter has, for some reason, signed on as a boozy matriarch (again?) and Lori Loughlin (Aunt Becky from Full House) will play a former Olympic medalist/mother of the central kids. Now, the chick from Reaper is signed on (does that mean the death knell of that show? It might be kind of welcome so I can stop pretending to watch it). Also, some guy from Dirt who is way dreamy will play an English teacher. I sense some naughty teenage girls “needing help after class.”

No word yet on whether or not any of the original cast members are going to be involved, but there’s this new unsettling interview with Jason Priestly where he sounds like a ghost of himself. When asked about a potential role on the series, he says: “They haven’t contacted me about doing anything yet. But if it’s the right thing, I’m certainly open to it. I loved working on that show. I loved everything I did on that show. I had so many jobs on that show, I loved it so.”

The way he ends that sentence, “I loved it so,” makes him seem like he is in The Notebook and he is going to kiss 90210 passionately in the rain. It’s weird. Also, in the accompanying picture he kind of looks like Harry Connick Jr. after a frightening bender in the French Quarter.

This post is 100% Miley Cyrus free!

• Psych!: Lindsay Lohan and the kids from The Hills duped into attending fake show premiere which was actually just a launch party for a new LG HDTV
• Steve Carell interviews Phyllis Smith on the set of The Office
• E! Kristin: Is Reaper a goner?
• Work Out: Sky Sports website lists who is no longer a trainer as well as their rates
• Ratings down for Idol, and Paula’s not drunk just confused
• Seinfeld pitches Curb Your Enthusiasm style series to NBC
• Nerdshop quartet a cappella version of Battlestar Galactica theme
• TV dramas feeling the brunt of stike fallout
• Not surprising: Another semi-unemployed former 90210 star willing to join the remake
• Whatever happened to the ladies on Lost?
• Nina Garcia to judge birth control pill package design competition
• Kid prank calls businesses as Peter Griffin from Family Guy
• Boston Legal wins USA Today’s Save Our Show campaign. I’m still rooting for The 4400
• This day in lists: 50 greatest TV shows of all time

I try to only bring Survivor up only once or twice a season.

And it’s primarily because I know you all don’t care. In fact, I feel like every time I bring up Survivor I re-explain the fact that I know you guys don’t watch it, but I can’t help but love it.

So, I’ll give you guys a quick briefing on one particular highlight of this current season, gimmickally themed “Fans vs. Favorites.” That is to say, “Nerds like me who watch this show for almost ten years Vs. People who have already played and lost and are determined to get it right this time or go back to their life of auditioning for KFC commercials.”

The biggest turn of events this season occurred the week before last with one of the biggest blindsides in history. It was positively glorious.

If there’s one feature of reality TV contestants that I revile it’s smugness. And if there’s one feature of reality TV contestants that I love, it’s a person’s status as an underdog. Psychoanalyze this as you see fit. In any case, two weeks ago we saw the Survivor demise of the show’s top dog Ozzy at the hands of perennial underdog Cirie. Ozzy was the strategic mastermind, tribal leader and physical powerhouse — and he knew it. He was pretty sure of himself during every interview, always comfortable that he had every tribe member curled around his finger.

Then Cirie, the unintimidating nurse wised up and this happened (watch it quick before the CBS narcs take it down):

Other than jury member Eliza’s huge reactions, there’s not a lot to go on in this clip unless you watch the show. But you should know that it was a pretty colossal and satisfying moment in a pretty decent season.

Thanks for indulging me. I’ll try better to get you some sort of amusing chart or something tomorrow.