Elevators, babies and my eventual cultural relevance

Posted by Dan

I can’t really say that I’m very accomplished. This grows more and more clear as I near 30 and find myself dreading my college’s alumni magazine (where they show the various weddings, higher education degrees and career accomplishments made by my peers). It’s not that I don’t want my friends to be successful, I just don’t want them to be more successful, more quickly than me.

But whatever, man. I’ve got a blog that’s read by… well, more people than can fit in a phone booth. I can pretend that I wield media influence. After all, this isn’t a Livejournal or a Blogspot– this is a dot com. We’ve got our own URL, suckers.

Anyways, I want to make my mark on society by creating a phrase that can be incorporated into the pop culture lexicon. This is something I can put in my obituary. So, this entry is the beginning of a series (I’ve just decided that — like now) where I throw out terms I made up and see if people unexpectedly start using them.

My first one is thus…

Elevator baby (noun, adjective) - a catch-all term for a time-worn plot device that has been repeated time and time again.

Sitcoms have used the device of having hapless men deliver babies in elevators for years. It’s been on Doogie Howser, M.D., Saved by the Bell — heck — even that God-awful Private Practice (although they’re doctors — they should know how to do this). I want the term “elevator baby” to refer to an uninspired, phoned-in plotline.

Often these elevator baby devices involve confined spaces (being caught in a storage facility/walk-in freezer), but the term can apply to anything. The replacement of a dead hamster to fool a child, etc.

Here it is in a sentence:

It was a generally strong season, but a few episodes suffered from elevator baby plotlines.

Another:

Two and a Half Men is the worst. Every episode seems to be an elevator baby.

So, there you have it. This is the key to my fame.

Show 8 comments Add a Comment June 25th, 2008 at 12:14 pm Filed under: All Things TV

Probably the first (and hopefully the last) mention of Carson Daly on TiFaux

Posted by Dan

Have you ever heard of a band called Cloud Cult?

Their schtick (not to reduce them to just being a band with a gimmick — but they do have a schtick) is that they have a painter create a work of visual art while they do their concerts. The band’s sound is urgent rock and roll augmented by a small string section — so it’s very conducive for painters to get “in the zone.”

So they recently showed up on Carson Daly’s show to perform. You can see the clip below.

If you liked the music and, more importantly, the painting you can buy it on eBay. As of this writing it’s only about $335 — which is a lot for bloggers, but not for people who buy original artwork.

Via Brooklyn Vegan.

PS — I give Carson Daly a hard time, which he probably doesn’t deserve. Seems like a nice enough guy — he dated the lovely Jennifer Love Hewitt after all. However, it is very easy and his show has some inexcusably bad comedy.

Show 1 comment Add a Comment June 25th, 2008 at 11:14 am Filed under: The Funk

The More You Know: Plot where you lost interest in MTV

Posted by John

No Comments Add a Comment June 25th, 2008 at 5:00 am Filed under: General

Something you may not have seen from three months ago

Posted by Dan

I remember hearing about the Battlestar Galactica cast doing a Letterman top ten list, but I never actually sought it out.  Well, just because I care enough to give you something you don’t want three months late, here it is.

For what it’s worth, it’s mildly amusing to watch:

  • Tricia Helfer politely fake-laugh through the entire set
  • The guy who plays Baltar try to sell a really lame number 7
  • Jamie Bamber accidentally lapse into his adorable English accent.

No Comments Add a Comment June 24th, 2008 at 1:53 pm Filed under: Battlestar Galactica

30 Days: Maybe tonight’s a good time to start

Posted by Dan

Among the shows I feel like I could watch (if only the network it aired on — FX — was in any part of my consciousness) is Morgan Spurlock’s 30 Days.

Spurlock is the guy who nearly killed himself by eating McDonald’s every day in “Super Size Me” and is known for both his gregarious personality and unfortunate choices in facial hair. He’s pretty charming, though, and the concept behind 30 Days is pretty cool.

Essentially, it’s a classy version of Wife Swap — without the wives. A person who is very ingrained in one lifestyle experiences 30 Days living in a completely foreign and challenging environment. So far this season, participants have included a former football player who must spend a month in a wheelchair, a hunter who has to work for PETA and Spurlock himself who goes to work in a coal mine.

The episode that airs tonight is intriguing to me for the obvious gay angle. A homophobe goes to live with a pair of gay dads.

To give you an idea of what it’ll turn out like, here’s a quote from one of the dads taken from an Advocate article:

I think Kati was truly hurt when I told her I couldn’t be her friend. But she told us she was going back to California to work against gay marriage. Ultimately, it’s not a “live and let live” or “agree to disagree” situation. We’re not passing judgment on how she lives her life, but her views and actions threaten the existence our family. Michigan just had a marriage amendment updated by the courts that eradicated domestic-partner health care benefits for state employees. Now Tom’s not covered by my health insurance.

The episode airs on FX at ten p.m.

No Comments Add a Comment June 24th, 2008 at 11:13 am Filed under: Reality

TV on DVD for June 24th, 2008

Posted by John

Show Title Season
Big Easy, The The Complete 1st Season
Criss Angel Mindfreak Best of Seasons 1 and 2
Dogfights The Complete Season 2
Early Edition The 1st Season
Futurama Beast With A Billion Backs
Hey Joel Season 1
I Bet You Season 1
Ice Road Truckers On & Off The Ice
New Adventures of Old Christine, The The Complete 2nd Season
Ruth Rendell Mysteries Set 3
Tak & the Power of Juju Vol 1: The Trouble With Magic
That’s My Boy Complete Series
Vice, The Season 2

No Comments Add a Comment June 24th, 2008 at 11:00 am Filed under: TV on DVD

The More You Know: It’s a vagina, not a clown car

Posted by John

No Comments Add a Comment June 24th, 2008 at 5:00 am Filed under: General

Top Chef: Our favorite lesbians

Posted by Dan

Top Chef ended just a couple weeks ago and it still seems like forever. A woman won, which we were all happy to see, but sadly our two favorite lesbians (of the three) bit the dust a bit early in the competition.

Well, Zoi was probably a bit swamped by the competition — Jen could have stayed around a little while.

Here’s a Hulu Web exclusive about the couple, looking back at all the lesbionic drama.

No Comments Add a Comment June 23rd, 2008 at 1:25 pm Filed under: Top Chef

Internet TV distraction: The Underminer

Posted by Dan

How’s it going?

Monday morning, eh? It’s rough. I know, I should’ve just gone to bed earlier too.

Well, if you’re checking this Monday morning, you’re probably hoping you can get a little mental escape for a bit. Actually, if you’re checking it at all you probably are avoiding doing something.

As such, here’s a kind of funny sketch called “The Underminer.” It’s from The YouTube. According to the creator, Michael Albo, it is based on “someone you let into your life a long time ago who knows everything about you and knows how to dismantle your psychology—but it’s too late to split off from him or her.”

Here’s another one about babies and Whole Foods.

No Comments Add a Comment June 23rd, 2008 at 11:28 am Filed under: Internets TV

The More You Know: More bad reality shows coming our way

Posted by John

No Comments Add a Comment June 23rd, 2008 at 5:00 am Filed under: General

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