Awww… Ellen announced that she’s getting hitched on her show.

If you don’t know:

• Ellen’s partner/girlfriend/fiance (!) is Portia De Rossi of Arrested Development.
• gay people can get married in California now.
• California has no residency requirements for marriage (like Massachusetts does).

Take that, establishment!

Holy crap!

Just when we expunged the idea of any more Arrested Development from our heads, they go and start getting us excited again. It looks like the possibility of an AD movie is very much alive.

The dream is still alive… just like that Wilson Phillips song.

Jason Bateman recently told Kristin from E! that support is snowballing for the movie. He says:

“I can confirm that a round of sniffing has started,” Bateman says. “Any talk is targeting a poststrike situation, of course. I think, as always, that it’s a question of whether the people with the money are willing to give our leader, Mitch Hurwitz, what he deserves for his participation. And I can speak for the cast when I say our fingers are crossed.”

Kristin reports that Mitch Hurwitz doesn’t have a script yet, but he has a solid idea of what he wants to do.

Obviously, this is incredible news. Click through to hear the audio of Jeffrey Tambor confirming his interest in participating int he movie.

Amazon is selling the complete series of Arrested Development for $30.

Your only excuse for not acting now is if you already own them.

And act soon, because it’ll probably sell out.

If you’ve been in a mall lately or walked down a city street, there’s a chance you’ve seen the new ad campaign for the Gap. It’s called “People Dan loves dressed in shit from the Gap — mostly scarves.”

First and foremost, there’s the one-two punch of Amy Poehler and Will Arnett mugging comically for the camera.

Poehler and Arnett, also known as the couple you and your significant other will never be cool/witty/awesome enough to invite over for dinner and perhaps a few rounds of Boggle, seem to be pretty aware that they’re modeling for The Gap. Their expressions are pretty hysterical, lending some hipness and edge to a brand that became synonymous with mall brattiness (accentuated by a sketch on the show Poehler is on now — SNL).

Then there’s our good friend John Krasinski, brandishing what we all know as the John Krasinksi Impish Smirk ™. He’s looking pretty adorable, but the ad makes his charm seem a bit calculated. I don’t know how to feel about it.

I suppose that it’s okay that John, Amy and Will are shilling for The Gap. I’m generally agreeable to the idea of selling out in the name of keeping food on the table. I just ask myself if I would say no to gobs of money in exchange for a few hours of wearing a rainbow scarf. It doesn’t take me long to decide.

Sorry for no news yesterday.

• Best Week Ever blames Chris’ loss on Project Runway on weight discrimination.
• Go Fug Yourself presents a terrifying picture of Lost’s Elizabeth Mitchell.
• LC has broken. She admits that some scenes on The Hills are re-enactments.
• Kathy Griffin’s My Life On the D-List has begun production and will air in June!
• Reality TV is a beef in the writers’ strike. Meanwhile, the NY Times says the strike is now about respect. Meaning there will never be television again.
• Presidential candidates are perceived as getting off easy because there are no lame, easy jokes to be made by late night talk show hosts.
• Is Aliens in America trivializing Christianity with its new episode?
• NBC has made its midseason schedule featuring American Gladiators and Lipstick Jungle.
• People are supporting Cavemen.  Which is, apparently, still on the air.
• E-Kristin has a spoiler chat. And talks with Heidi Klum.
• Rory Gilmore’s gonna be in a movie with Paolo from Lost.
• Big Shots is over.
• Here are five potential premises for an Arrested Development movie.
• Kristen Bell in a gold bikini.

We’re back.

• Fans are eagerly awaiting the end of The Wire.
• Picketing is a family affair.
• Paige Davis is allegedly coming back to Trading Spaces.
• Portia de Rossi says she isn’t playing herself on Nip/Tuck.
• USA Today tallies all the impending reality TV shows.
• Is Survivor’s Courtney anorexic?
• Check and see how many episodes are left of all your favorite scripted shows.
• Create your own Hero.  Or something.
• Lost’s Damon Lindelof wrote an op-ed on the strike for the NY Times.
• The Daily Herald compares Arrested Development and Dirty Sexy Money.  Catch up, man, catch up.
• Kristen Schaal of Flight of the Conchords talks to the AV Club.
• Family Guy is going on without its creator.
• Top Chef will air a holiday competition special with past contestants.
• A reality show for Marc Jacobs?
• Ask Ausiello: Strike edition.
• TV Guide previews tonight’s Project Runway premiere.
• E-Kristin does a spoiler chat and answers strike questions.

Halloween’s tomorrow, as you know.

What am I doing to celebrate? Well, not much — thanks for asking. Probably just going to sit around at home, watch Pushing Daisies and wonder what would happen on the off-chance I got a trick-or-treater. If I do get a munchkin, chances are I’ll probably tell them to wait while I dig up the miniature jar of cherry preserves I’ve had for the better part of the ’00s.

If, however, you’re an ambitious mid-week partygoer, and you still haven’t come up with a costume idea, here are some ideas for you to try out.

For couples:

Ned and Chuck (Pushing Daisies):

He wears:

• Long sleeved tee/sweater
• Holds a pie.

She wears:

• A vibrantly colored sun dress.

Both wear:

• Gloves on one hand. You must hold hands all night with the gloved hand.

For the ladies:

Lucille Bluth:

• A martini glass
• Pearls
• Shawl affixed with a brooch.

Meredith Grey:

• Scrubs
• A scowl

For the gentlemen:

Nathan Petrelli:

• Fake beard
• Business suit
• Harness
• Some sort of crane on wheels so you can attach the harness and hover all night (you’ll need a patient friend to wheel you around and hand you drinks)

Chuck:

• White, button-down short-sleeved shirt
• Nametag
• Uncontrollable nervous energy

Eric Taylor (Friday Night Lights):

• Track jacket
• Stubble
• Arrange it so that most people remain oblivious to you at the party, except for two or three people who are obsessed with you.

Anybody else have any ideas? I wanted to go further with this but I’m sleepy.

I haven’t done this feature in a while. Remember when I said it was going to be on Thursdays? Hell, remember when I said I’d be recapping Top Chef?

Ha!

Anyways, I’ll resurrect this little feature by proposing a three-way (I know what you’re thinking — “Dan, that’s your solution to everything.”). But here we go, are you ready?

Who would win in a fight between Food Network’s Molto Mario, High School Musical’s Zac “Troy” Efron and Arrested Development’s G.O.B. Bluth?

Here’s a round-up of the contenders:

Mario Batali: Don’t let his teddy bear face fool you — Molto Mario would tear you in half if he ever got the chance. Like most chefs, he is skilled with a knife and knows anatomy. He’ll exploit his competitors’ weak parts in order to go for the kill. In addition, he’s got 150 and 100 pounds on Efron and Bluth, respectively. I’m conjuring a very specific image of Mario walking around, butcher knives in both hands, with Efron clinging to one leg and Bluth to the other. Batali’s weaknesses, however, lie in his strengths — his size means less agility and heavy, lumbering steps. He’s more likely to get winded mid-battle.

Zac Efron: Sure, he’s skinny. Sure, he’s young. But Zac Efron is a dancer. He’s got the best six pack of all the competitors (seriously, Google image him). I can imagine him darting between Bluth and Batali, quickly shooting between their legs and leaping on their backs, putting them in sleeper holds. That said, if Batali lands a punch, then it’s all over. Also, Efron’s orangish hue will make it hard to blend in if there is a Predator-like game of cat and mouse in the jungle.

G.O.B. Bluth: He may not be the strongest or the quickest, but as far as pure fearlessness, neither Efron or Batalie can match Bluth. Think of the possessed look in his eye when performing his magic. Think of him riding on his Segway, unsheathing his sword. Would you want to go up against that? Because I wouldn’t. Of course, as far as technical fighting skills go, I can’t imagine Bluth has that much to offer. But he’d probably play dirtier than either Batali or Efron, which is worth something.

I need to find something to eat.

• Kathy Griffin won an Emmy!
• TV Guide offers a preview of the Greek finale. And a bunch of other shows of the Monk/The 4400 ilk.
• Georgetown Law is offering a class based on 24.
• Apple wants to offer TV downloads for a buck.
• Bisexual dating show pits lesbians against straight guys. My money’s on the lesbians.
• They’re trying to make people interested in the non-naked parts of the HBO show Tell Me You Love Me.
• Jason Bateman is unexpectedly optimistic about the possibility of an Arrested Development movie.
• Nick Hornby interviews The Wire’s David Simon for The Believer.
• Time chose the 100 best shows of all time.
• James Gandolfini is hosting an Iraq documentary on HBO.

It must suck to never be able to eat garlic.

• Rachel Griffiths defends all the boys kissing on Brothers and Sisters.
• The Emmys are going to be awful.
• Edie Falco will have three-episode arc on 30 Rock.
• You can stream the Tim Gunn show on Bravo’s Web site.
• Showtime renewed Californication.
• Kristin Chenoweth fell down the stairs and fractured some ribs — but she’s determined to not halt the Pushing Daisies production schedule.
• Here are some words that will totally mess with our google search terms: “High School Musical” and “naked.” Thank me later, Kyle.
• Alyssa Milano is going to be on My Name is Earl.
• Slate hates Star Jones’ new show.
• Jason Batemen and Michael Cera are in the same movie, but don’t share any scenes.
• Gordon Ramsay, um, burned his balls.
• The New York Times talks about Chelsea Lately.
• Dianne Wiest will be on Jezebel James.
• Patrick Dempsey says Grey’s Anatomy will be more fun next season.
• An SNL CD of live tunes will be sold exclusively at Target. It will include Elvis Costello, Mary J. Blige and Nirvana.