Gay men: Are you your own worst enemy? Do you spend your time looking for hook-ups and wild nights out and then continually wonder why all you have to say for yourself is an apartment full of Ikea furniture and a complete set of Sex and the City DVDs? Do you worry about your hair? A lot?

Ladies who love them: Have you given up? Do you get 75% of what you need from your gay best friend and seek the shelter of a safe and comfortable relationship over the risk and stress of a new, but potentially meaningful one? Are you aging?

Well, you could potentially get cast on a new game show seeking Will and Grace-style couples.

I suppose this is actually a pretty inoffensive thing, but the way they phrase it is a bit unflattering. Will and Grace were pretty tragic characters when you got past the slapstick gags and pop culture references. I have no shortage of straight female friends, but being described as Will and Grace would basically be tantamount to saying “welcome to the rest of your fulfilling-ish life.”

• E Kristin gives us a rundown on when shows will be returning
• Showtime orders a drama that’s like Six Feet Under except with a pharmacy company instead of a funeral home
• Networks are desperate for filler: Fox remakes a Japanese human Tetris game show, NBC to make a rockstar curling game show
• Looks like the NY Times is desperate for filler as well
• Now that the strike is over, will viewers return?
• 24’s co-creator leaves the show
• Battlestar Galactica is planning on dipping into your wallet twice
• Weeds returns in June
• OMG I thought that Appalachian State University video was bad, but after watching this I just threw up in my hand cup

I still haven’t seen No Country For Old Men and that is inexcusable.

• In a very small bit of  bright strike news, NBC won’t be canceling or reducing its number of pilots.
• The Colbert Report and Daily Show writers are having a throw-back to their debate team days.
• Steven Bochco has a new legal drama with Zack Morris.
• There’s going to be a live Buffy reunion.
• USA Today celebrates the return of Lost. E-Kristin has video previews!
• Slate thinks out the ethically questionable new crop of game shows.
• They’ve announced a cast for the third and, allegedly, final season of Flavor of Love.
• Over at E!, vote for who you want to win the SAG Awards.
• And in case you haven’t seen it — via Best Week Ever — here’s Homosexuwhales.

Sox win!

• Harvey Keitel to portray Jerry Springer in the thea-tuh.
• James Kyson Lee (Ando from Heroes) talks to TV Guide. And Adrian Pasdar talks to USA Today.
• Here’s ticket info to see Battlestar Galactica: Razor.
• John Cho talks about being on How I Met Your Mother.
• Meredith from The Office sends word from the Office convention in Scranton.
• A contestant on America’s Most Smartest Model is a creepazoid.
• Ellen is going to go forfeit some dignity by being a suitcase-holder on Deal or No Deal.
• Lessons learned from Viva Laughlin.
• Here’s a preview of the new Court TV — called TruTV.
• Jesse Plemons from Friday Night Lights discusses his murder plotline.
• The Bionic Woman’s ratings are sinking.

Tonight’s a new episode of Lost. It’s sure to be excellent, as the show has been keeping us on our toes lately. I don’t have much more to say because I haven’t watched television in literally days (the horror!), and if I had the time, I’d be up all night with unwatched episodes of Heroes, 24, Gilmore Girls, Veronica Mars, House, Grey’s Anatomy, and now Lost, but I’m pretty sure I don’t have the time for that, and it’s bumming me out. I don’t like being out of the loop!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: It’s The Price is Right Million Dollar Spectacular on CBS at 8:00 PM, Bob Barker’s last-ever episode hosting the show. It’s the end of an era. Sick days will never be the same.

Is it too much of a cliché to say there's a new sheriff in town?

Veronica knows, or will know very, very soon who killed Dean O'Dell. I am really excited, but not nearly as excited as I was for seasons one and two finales. There's something about committing to a whole year of a mystery that makes the payoff more satisfying. Anyway, my final thought is… I have no idea. I think Lucky Tim was the one bugging Landry, though, and that he's going to come through with some clutch info at the last minute. Maybe… Cliff did it? Seriously, I don't know. I'm hoping it's not Mindy or Landry, or if it's them it's for some crazy unexpected reason. Maybe it was the Dean's troubled son?

And before that, Gilmore Girls hopefully continues going strong, though I deeply fear that we'll be seeing more of Lane's Non-Comically Oversized Baby Tummy.

American Idol shoves out House again, sadly, as does the new show Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader, which… is kind of a great idea. Don't tell anyone I said so. 

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: I'm not really trying here, because I expect you all to watch Veronica. FX is showing 13 Going on 30, which I've always been morbidly curious about. Hey, whaddya know, Dirt is still airing new episodes. And I've got five words for you: Andrew McCarthy, Hallmark Original Movie. It's called Straight from the Heart. Isn't Andrew McCarthy due for a McDreamy-style comeback some time soon?

News nuggets to get you through your mid-morning slump

• The creators of Will and Grace are going to make a pilot that is basically "Will and Grace Except Grace is a Dude." David Kohan and Max Mutchnick are going to make a "buddy comedy project" based on their own relationship — that of a straight writer (Kohan) and a gay writer (Mutchnick). Rounding out the cast will be the writers' "hot young assistants."  Sounds lecherous, no?
• Bob Barker's retiring from The Price is Right? Now what are fourth graders supposed to watch when they're home sick from school?
• Flavor Flav has all sorts of digusting news lately.  Not only are the strippers from Flavor of Love being sent to charm school for yet another VH1 show, but The Clocked One is expecting his seventh child.  Super depressing.

We're a couple days late with this, but NBC has announced that it is giving up on 8 PM. To save money, they won't be scheduling scripted dramas or comedies in the 8 PM time slot — only game shows and reality shows.

This is sad to me, as it means fewer opportunities for great shows to get produced. (Not that all shows NBC produces are great. But you have to throw a lot of pies at the wall to get one that sticks. Or something.) And I doubt they're going to come up with any groundbreaking game shows or reality contests, especially as it's now the game-and-reality dumping ground, the hour that it's okay to ignore.

Poor NBC. All this talk of saving money and rising from the ashes. Buck up! You have my favorite new shows — Heroes, 30 Rock, Studio 60 — and returning champ (and Emmy-award-winner!) The Office. Things aren't so bad. No need to go cutting off your own limbs.

I moved in December.  As a result, I had to change cable tv service providers, thereby losing the Oxygen Network.  Oxygen is a network targeted to women in their twenties and thirties but actually watched by gay men of all stripes.  Their primary sources of programming are a somewhat crappy hidden camera show, reruns of Roseanne and Ellen (the sitcom), same-day repeats of Ellen (the talk show) and a few valiant stabs at original programming.

My favorite selection on the network, however, was a remake of the vintage game show "I've Got a Secret," which aired at 7:30 a.m. every weekday.  I watched it religiously as I prepared for work.  The premise of the show was that there was a guest with a secret (maybe an odd talent or a deformity or something) and a panel of guessers had to come up with what it was based on a hint given by the host.

The show featured a panel of b-list and has-been celebrities that rotated every once in a while, but most regularly featured Teri Garr, Jason Kravitz (apparently, he was on The Practice), Jim J. Bullock (from the upper left square) and Amy Yasbeck (best known as the star of the Problem Child franchise and wife of the late John Ritter).  The host was liberal radio host Stephanie Miller.  No relation.

It was a fun crowd, despite the fact that Teri and Jim J. are lovable idiots.  Amy Yasbeck was the brains of the outfit and was the one who guessed it correctly most of the time.

The show was dated, definitely Clinton-era (remember that time? when we weren't scared all the time?), so the show hasn't been resurrected.  Until now.

The Game Show Network somewhat recently launched its own version of the show.  The twist?  This time it's chock full of homos. 

Bigger, better, gayer.  Jermaine, Bil, Frank, Suzanne, Billy.

Hosted by smiling straightie Bil Dwyer, the show's four panelists are all inexplicably gay.  That is, there's no real reason for it.  Except to appeal to the demographic.

The panelists are Frank DeCaro (he did movie reviews for The Daily Show a long time ago), comedian Suzanne Westenhoefer, former baseball player and resident beefcake Billy Bean and some guy named Jermaine (I have no idea who he is, but he has amazing teeth.  And, frankly, that's good enough for me.)

This time, the panelists all seem fairly flighty and ask pretty stupid questions (with the exception of Billy, who seems to really grill them).  But the mood is light and everybody is quite likable despite themselves.  

Also, there are a lot of blind games where the panelists are blindfolded while someone performs a stunt and they have to guess what he/she is doing.  So, they're all wearing lip-shaped blindfolds while some guy across the stage is trying to fit himself into a two-foot by two-foot box.

In any case, it's on every night after The Daily Show and is much more entertaining than Leno or Letterman.

In a 16-year-old story just now coming to my attention, it seems that Greg Kinnear invented America's Funniest Home Videos. Why didn't we know that? According to his buddy and lawyer John A. Marder, "Greg is a very level guy, but I have never seen him more emotionally upset than by what happened with 'America’s Funniest Home Videos.'" This was just a footnote in a New York Times article about Mr Marder's crusade to protect writers whose ideas are stolen by Hollywood, so there weren't many details. I gather that Mr. Kinnear–who at the time AMHV premiered was hosting the "Double Dare"-type game show "College Mad House"–sued ABC for stealing his idea and won on appeal. I can't find any more information about the lawsuit but rest assured I will get to the bottom of it.