There’s a whole world out there beyond the networks — you know this. There are a hell of a lot of new original programs on cable, some of which are damn good. However, there are way too many to keep up with — especially the new brand of “woman of a certain age” dramas.

Then there’s FX’s Damages, which recently gleaned two surprise Emmys (by my standards) for Glenn Close and Zeljko Ivanek. If you ask me, they were well earned (even though Michael Emerson from Lost should get his due before the show ends).

Even though I’m not fully through season one (for all I know there’s some sort of awful deus ex machina — but I doubt it), I must insist you all watch it. The first season is out on DVD, so you can take a sick day, hunker down in your PJs, put on a cucumber mask and get ready to see some high-quality, superbly-paced legal thriller. This is no basic cable Grisham.

I’ll give you the basics to whet your appetite. The first episode features Ellen Parsons, a porcelain-faced, superstar rookie lawyer, in an elevator. She’s covered with blood.  Someone’s clearly been killed.

That’s when they start messing with you. Flashback to several months earlier — law firms court Ellen to be their bright young star. This includes Patty Hewes (although Hewes and Associates is enough of a big deal that they don’t really have to chase anyone to get who they want).

Hewes is in the middle of an intense legal battle representing the former employees of Arthur Frobisher, played by a white-haired Ted Danson. Frobisher is a multi-gazillionaire who made even more gazillions by dumping his company stock just before it tanked.

Suffice to say, all of these things are connected. The corporate crime, the ingenue covered in blood, the steely litigator. It’s too much to explain in one post and more satisfying to watch play out in the nutso pilot.

One of the most refreshing parts about Damages is the fact that the characters aren’t predictable. They’re types, but they’re not lazy caricatures. Glenn Close is a pit bull (please, don’t let that woman distract you when I use that term), but she’s not invincible or completely soulless (mostly soulless, maybe). Frobisher is a powerful corporate criminal, but he’s also a huge softie and a petulant child. Fisk, his attorney (played by Ivanek), is particularly conflicted as the man who does Frobisher’s dirty work — the guilt eats him from the inside out.

The best part about Damages, and the reason I keep watching it until I fall asleep at night, is that the tension is excellently delivered. The scenes shot in the present day, a grim series of scenes shot on grainy film, divulge just enough juicy morsels every episode to change your entire perception of what has happened so far in the series.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the performances, which are pretty excellent all around. Glenn Close is psychotically awesome as the shark-like Patty Hewes — she’s got this icy stare that doesn’t give a damn thing away. Even Ted Danson is pretty great as Frobisher — it’s a far cry from the loveable barkeep Sam Malone, which every associates him with.

So, yeah. Get Damages on DVD and make a weekend out of it.  Don’t consume in moderation — swallow it whole.

Timothy Olyphant is joining the cast of Damages.

This is great news because I love Damages and Timothy Olyphant makes everything better, even The Girl Next Door.

Yeah, I’ve seen The Girl Next Door. That means I know all about Moral Fiber. And yes, that was a Girl Next Door inside joke. No shame, because:

Timothy Olyphant! Wheeee!

It’s mid-June. Like seriously.

And while it’s been a few weeks without new network programming, we’ve barely started into the chasm of summer programming.  There’s going to be a lot of steaming crap out there, but it’s not all for naught. Or, as a TV blogger, I like to think that there’s something out there worth writing about.

As such, here’s a bit of a guide to things that you can watch this summer only feel moderate guilt.

IFC: You probably get IFC and don’t take advantage of it. However, there are a ton of movies on it that you’ve been meaning to watch forever. Plus, there are reruns of The Minor Accomplishments of Jackie Woodman (right, in bras), which is an incredible series (full post TK).

Bravo: What the hell were we doing with our lives before Bravo reinvented itself as the gay network?  Kathy Griffin’s My Life On the D-List and Project Runway both have new episodes this summer.

Lite reality TV on cable: We, here at TiFaux, are somewhat skeptical of reality TV. Me, admittedly, somewhat less so — but we all like to keep a safe distance from network offerings like Wife Swap or the celebrity-eats-itself shows like Living Lohan. However, there are some decent, watchable diversions available. There’s The Mole on NBC (get it before it’s gone, folks) as well as Bravo-esque competitive reality shows on HGTV and Food Network. Design Star and The Next Food Network Star are both very much “Hey, guys! Me too!” as far as unoriginal formats, but when you’ve got a winning formula, interesting cast members and high production values, it’s hard (at least for me) to not be somewhat charmed.

The Olympics: First up, two words: men’s gymnastics. Rowr. Something you have to look forward to this summer on TiFaux is posts where I e-catcall the athletes saying things like “ride that pommel horse, son” and “I’ll show you a floor routine.” It’ll be totally lecherous fun. But, more to the point, it can be quite fun to get caught up on the fervor. And, if you’re like me, you can get swept up in some uncharacteristic unabashed patriotism. Even if you aren’t necessarily into watching big gymnast arms, there are plenty of sports for everyone to enjoy.

The Daily Show coverage of the presidential election: Historically, The Daily Show’s election coverage has been some of its best material. Like all creative-types, they work best when they’ve got something to say and it’s hard to not have something to say all about the election tomfoolery going around.

Catch up on DVDs of TV shows: There’s a ton of shit you haven’t been watching, most likely because it’s on premium cable. Weeds. Dexter. Big Love. I can vouch for at least the first two — and you can totally burn through each of them within two weeks. Weeds has three seasons of about a dozen half hour episodes (less than that, if you count the theme, credits and the fact that they clock in at like 27 minutes). Dexter has two seasons of hour-long episodes (about 10-12 each). These shows are both coming back and deserve your attention. There’s also stuff like Damages, The Closer and Rescue Me — shows that I have never watched because they’re on weird networks, but have earned a substantial critical following.

This weekend I took F/X up on its offer of a day full of Damages, and I don’t regret it. Damages has a few little quirks that become even more obvious when an entire season is viewed over a two-day period, but overall it’s an intense, engrossing show, and I can’t wait to see the final resolution tomorrow.

One of the reasons I think it works so well (and I’m sure I’m not the only one saying this) is because it’s essentially a show about two women. It would have been different — and probably really bad — if the Glenn Close character and the young lawyer she corrupts were both men. This way the show can be about women and power and ambition and balancing relationships and work, in addition to a murder mystery involving a corrupt businessman.

The set-up seems at first like the drama version of The Devil Wears Prada: ruthless and successful boss tortures/mentors/uses young, innocent subordinate. And in a lot of ways I think that’s a good comparison. Glenn Close’s character, Patty Hewes, doesn’t care about you, her insignificant employee. It’s a mistake to think that she would care about you just because she’s a woman. The young lawyer makes that mistake over and over again, treating Patty like a friend rather than a terrifying boss, which she never would do if Patty was a man. This allows Patty to do her job even better than she did before: Her subordinates are practically asking to be manipulated and used. She can do whatever she likes, and it usually works.

Of course, now that the season is wrapping up, Patty’s having to face some consequences for her winner-takes-all philosophy. And frankly, that makes me a little sad, and a little scared. I don’t like a powerless Patty; she’s supposed to be the one who gets things done, not has things done to her. And I’m scared because I think Patty likes being in this position even less — and that does not bode well for Young Blackmailing Associate. (BTW, shouldn’t Y. B. A. have learned that blackmailing is totally not awesome by now?) In a show where we’ve come to expect major reversals, I don’t think Patty has been beaten down — not by a long shot.

Overall, the acting is superb (in addition to Glenn Close, Ted Danson and his lawyer are particularly great), the writing is high above average, and the twists are fun to predict. And there are great, dramatic, original female characters — proof it can be done.