I don’t know about you guys, but last night’s TV really brought it. Please be prepared for some spoilers ahead (though the biggest I’ll put after the jump).

I’ve decided to approach the evening chronologically. Not in the order that the episodes aired, but in the age of the characters portrayed.

High School

In the second episode of The Paper, we learned a little more about my new favorite newspaper teen: Alex. Alex went to Hebrew school with Amanda. Alex considered Amanda a friend before junior year, then he started hanging out with the Adam/Trevor/Gianna axis of evil and grew apart from Amanda. Alex had a crush on Amanda in ninth grade! We are witnessing Alex’s transformation from shy dork to life of the party. It’s great.

I don’t have the energy to mount my Amanda defense, but I think as stubbornly odd as she is, you can see that she just doesn’t know how to relate to people. I don’t think she’s a bad person and I’d like to see her succeed — but she does have trouble letting loose, as is clear from her post-its and the “fun” of the ice cream social.

College

I’ve been hoping for a Greek flashback episode for a long time now, and this one delivered. It not only gave us a glimpse of the kids way back when (2 years ago), it also did the impossible: It turned Evan into the hero! Cappie’s phenomenal charisma has always been a problem for the show: Why on earth would Casey ever break up with him? Especially for suit-wearing, soul-crushing Evan? This episode paints the picture beautifully. Cappie is the life of the party, but that’s his priority, not Casey. Evan is the quiet, conflicted best friend who doesn’t know where to belong. Cappie has never had a problem fitting in. Seeing Evan’s problems makes him infinitely more likeable. And seeing how Cappie has grown since his relationship with Casey — he really comes through for Rebecca — makes him, if possible, even more sympathetic (not that he needed it).

Mid to late 20s

How I Met Your Mother has been on fire this season. This episode was no exception. And the ending! I will discuss more after the jump.

I can’t believe I forgot to talk up The Paper, MTV’s newest reality show. It premiered last night, and unlike most MTV reality shows, this one appears to be about actual teenagers doing things teenagers actually do — in this case, rip each other to shreds and put out a school paper. It is phenomenal.

Sure, it has that crazy editing thing that MTV likes to do, where they treat us all like kitties that will get distracted and wander away if there aren’t a thousand things going on at all times. Also, MTV, I do not need to know what crappy song is playing every second of the show. Besides, you only play about ten seconds of a song before quick cutting to something else, so it’s not like I get a good sense of what the song is like. <end old lady rant>

The students they’re following — ambitious Amanda, nice guy Alex, basket case Adam, and insecure wench Gianna — are worth putting up with the editing nightmare. These kids have passions. They’re mean. They’re reasonably intelligent. They’re hard-working. They are clearly going to go nuts dealing with each other, and sooner rather than later.

In the first episode, they compete to see who will be the next editor in chief. You’ll have to watch for yourself for the full effect, but just as a teaser: The competition has some parallels to the current presidential campaign.

Gianna, right, will crush your happiness for your own good.

I like this show. Teenagers are awkward and emotional and backstabby. They also work really hard at things they enjoy. This feels true to my experience in a way that most shows — especially on MTV — do not. Watch it! And if you did, tell me what you think! First question: Did you hate Gianna and Trevor as much as I did?

They say politics is show business for ugly people. I live in D.C. — it’s kind of true.

So, when you cross show business with politics, what do you get? Not The West Wing (we should be so lucky). We get reality TV contestants running for Congress. Although, generally, they’re hotter than your average Mark Souder (it’s okay to make fun of him — he’s awful).

The latest person to throw their hat in the ring is Survivor winner Yul Kwon, who may run for a Congressional seat in California. Yul, who won the Race War season of Survivor, is also known as one of the smartest, nicest and most likable people to ever win the show. That’s saying a lot, given that it’s so easy to have your character flaws exploited on that show. But he’s not only smart, but decent — a real rarity. He’s also hot, but that’s neither here nor there.

This seems like a good opportunity to do a brief survey of reality TV stars who have launched bids for political office. Here goes:

Kevin from The Real World: New York

Kevin, originator of the “angry black man” reality show archetype, was a cast member on the very first season of The Real World. He’s actually made a respectable name for himself as a writer — notably for Vibe magazine. He ran, and withdrew himself, in 2006 for a Congressional seat in Brooklyn. Now he’s entered the race again. I can’t say whether I think he’ll win or not, but let me put it this way — the link to his site is broken.

Jim Morrison from The Mole

First of all, yes — it’s his real name. Second of all, you may remember Jim as the skinny, aviator shade-wearing gay dude from the very first season of The Mole. Morrison ran for the New Jersey State Senate a few years back and, dramatically, was asked to quit the race by his own party based on the fact that he had nude pictures circulating from when he was entered in a contest at an NYC gay bar. You can look at his campaign Web site here, which is (weirdly) being hosted by some t-shirt company. The real one is defunct.

Raj from The Apprentice

Raj is known to viewers of The Apprentice as the gross, bow tie-wearing, wannabe Anna Kournikova-dating guy. Voters in Pennsylvania know him as the psycho who accused his opponent of performing abortions on women without their permission. He ended up getting trounced, receiving less than a third of the votes in the election in 2006.

Sean from The Real World: Boston

Sean was one of the easiest-to-forget cast members on the Boston season of The Real World. The best he got was a brief screaming match with Southern blonde lesbian Genesis — I think over cleaning. Other than that, his only claims to fame were participating in those lumberjack games and pronouncing the word mouth “mowth.” He entertained, but ultimately dropped, the idea of a Congressional bid. He is currently the district attorney for Ashland County, Wisconsin. Fun fact: he’s married to Rachel from the San Francisco season of The Real World. They met on one of the battle of the seasons when it was more about extreme sports and less about body shots. Oooh, oooh, and Rachel was once considered for the “conservative psychopath” slot on The View that is now occupied by Elizabeth Hasselbeck.

If you still have to buy someone a gift, take this coupon to the Banana Republic by tomorrow.

• Appendix issues have forced Cheryl Burke off the Dancing with the Stars tour.  (Yes.  Slow news day.)
• Tila Tequila picked a boy.
• Um, interview with Michael Chiklis, anyone?
• USA has canceled both The 4400 and The Dead Zone.
• Take a look at the third chapter of Heroes.
• Go Fug Yourself targets Mischa Barton.

It’s that time again.

The good folks at MTV and our publicist pal Jorge are helping us sponsor another giveaway — this time seasons one and two of Run’s House.

For those of you who don’t know it, Run’s House is basically The Osbournes with Rev. Run from Run DMC. The big difference here appears to be that Run’s family doesn’t appear to be on the verge of imploding. It’s quite refreshing, actually, here’s a really cheesy trailer. I won’t embed the other clip they had of Kid Rock talking to the son while wearing a shirt that says “I (heart) black people.”

To enter, just e-mail tifaux (at) gmail (dot) com with the subject line “I’ve got the runs.” Then Maggie will activate her sophisticated randomized selection algorithm to pick the winner. The contest ends Nov. 15.

Ruh roh.

• Some episodes of How I Met Your Mother are available for free on iTunes.
• Nielsen is looking to increase its sample size.
• Oprah and Jerry Seinfeld are TVs top earners. Seinfeld still earns $60 MILLION A YEAR from Seinfeld reruns. Jeez oh Pete.
• Jorja Fox is leaving whichever CSI she’s on.
• The dude from Moonlight talks to TV Guide.
• Adrian Pasdar is posting YouTube clips of the Heroes folk.
• Private Practice beat The Bionic Woman, but only slightly. And TBW was NBC’s highest rated Wednesday launch since The West Wing.
• Kiele Sanchez (aka Nikki from Lost) is joining Samantha Who?
• Rainn Wilson isn’t worried about typecasting.
• They’re turning fountains red in honor of the premiere of Dexter. They insist it’s not blood, but a representation of the official Showtime color. Which I don’t buy.
• Jason Dohring talks about Moonlight.
• MTV will air a True Life marathon on Saturday. Cristin, clear your schedule.
• Simon Cowell and Sharon Osbourne are real life heroes.
• Finally, watch these Lost bloopers before they’re taken down.

I’m typing this without moving my mouth.

• Charisma Carpenter will be on the celebrity version of The Apprentice.
• Even though certain commenter trolls think otherwise, HGTV has deemed there is nothing wrong with Kim competing on Design Star.
• The set of the British version of The Office will be demolished.
• A Hawaii orchestra will perform the music of Lost.
• There will be a little surprise in your next TV Guide, thanks to Grey’s Anatomy.
• Lucy Lawless talks about Burn Notice.
• TV Guide gives a summer TV breakdown.
• It’s official: Jon Stewart will host the Oscars.
• Some people love the Weeds theme. Some people hate it.
• Gordon Ramsay lied about his balls.
• Ja Rule can suck it.
• The Closer is, again, breaking all sorts of ratings records.
• Kohls is launching a Food Network brand.

Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County becomes Newport Harbor: The Real Orange County.

So, wait, which is real? Guys? Anyone??

Also, The Hills previews have already sucked me in. Looking forward to recaping the first half of the season feverishly and then pretending the show fell off the face of the earth, as I’ve done for the last two.

…but you really should.

Here are some things that happened on last night’s MTV Movie Awards:

• Instead of the fun, well-produced movie parodies the MTV Movie Awards are known for, MTV decided to become all Web 2.0 and hold a viewer contest for a movie parody. This led to three of the worst movie parodies I have ever had the misfortune to see. Two of them were so bad they made me not want to watch television or speak to humans ever again, and the other was slightly less bad but also pretty offensive (I personally was not offended, but I was also drunk). Luckily the offensive one won. I guess?
• As if they weren’t already affronts to art and mankind, the terrible, terrible clips were introduced by Dane Cook.
• Will Ferrell and Sasha Baron Cohen made out and rolled around on the floor. Whatever. I don’t have the energy to figure out what that means.
• Speaking of straight men pretending to be gay, every time I see anything related to the Worst Idea for a Movie Ever (and there was a lot of Sandler et al in attendance), I lose a little more of my faith in humanity.
• Jack Nicholson won best villain, went on stage, and made everyone feel really, really bad for him by mumbling a lot and trying desperately to be cool. Jack Nicholson is old, you guys. Let the poor man drink his gin in peace.
• Things that were, for the most part, tolerable, and occasionally, quite charming: Sarah Silverman, Jaden Smith and parents, Mike Myers, Shia LaBeouf, Mandy Moore and John Krasinski, Seth Rogen, Human Giant. Everyone else was an ass.
• If the producers knew what was good for them, there would’ve been way more Zac Efron and way less Cameron Diaz. I mean this literally: Cam needs to put on some pants.
• I obviously should’ve given up on this show sooner, but instead I kept drinking. Which led to some inspired proclamations, for example, “Hey, you know what the problem is, Kyle? I figured it out. MTV is the establishment. They’re the man. These are all the cool kids going around talking about how cool they are. This makes me sick.”

I might’ve linked to the Human Giant bits, but I don’t want to encourage anything to do with this event. I feel dirty even talking about it, because I’ve just made some programming exec’s dream come true: “It’ll be totally integrated with web content and strategic marketing, and all the blogs will be talking about it.” Yuck.

Heidi and Spencer tell their side of the story (4 months too late but, you know, whatevs).

Highlights:

I’m working with David Foster with 143 Records under Warner. The album will be out hopefully in September. It’s very pop - hot, fun fresh, young, and sexy. It’s gonna be a lot of entertainment – a lot of dancing similar to the Pussycat Dolls and Britney Spears. ~Heidi
…….
The bottom line about me wanting to move in with her is that I haven’t left this girl’s side since I met her. I’m obsessed with her. Everyone says I can’t get into the clubs anymore, but the truth is I don’t go to clubs anymore because I like to cuddle up in bed with my girlfriend with some DVDs. ~Spencer
…….
I want to get a blog so people can know what’s going on with Spencer on the daily. Lauren narrates The Hills. Spencer is going to narrate his blog. Imagine if Spencer narrated The Hills… It’s how you skew it. If I’m the narrator, wait to see how much people love Spencer. ~Spencer
……..

Oh, my God. ~Cristin