Alright, guys… I need more entries for the 24 giveaway.

I’m guessing I made it too hard on you. Maybe the whole “come up with a cheesy saying for Jack Bauer to mutter after biting that guys neck off” contest was too much to ask. I mean, I get it. It’s a lot of pressure to have to come up with something and be happy with it and then send it in when you have no idea how many people were entering.

Suffice to say, response has been wanting.

But believe me, it’s okay. I used to be the same way — agonizing over every word I wrote on this precious blog. But now, all I really do is type stream-of-consciousness style and cross my fingers that it is actually comprehensible and not some sort of William Faulkner-style rant (on that note, I’m going to refer to Maggie and John as Quentin and Quentin just to make things unnecessarily confusing. Sound and the Fury joke! I say it like I understood the book, but I never finished it even though I was supposed to read it for two separate classes).

Where was I?  Oh, 24…

Okay, I really need to boost these numbers so I’m going to change the game. Here’s the new deal:

If you want to win the first season of 24 on DVD, send an e-mail to tifaux -at- gmail -dot- com, put “24 giveaway” in the subject line and give me the name of your favorite vegetable. It can be any vegetable. For example, a carrot.

Seriously, that’s just one. If you need help, here’s a list of vegetables to choose from.

I love it when we get to do giveaways.  Makes me feel fancy.

You know what makes me feel even fancier? When we get to give away good shit. Case in point: this here giveaway.

As you can see by Jack Bauer’s rugged, furrowed visage above, we’re giving away something 24-related. In fact, we’re giving away the new special edition DVD of 24’s first season. The DVD set includes all 24 episodes (get it — 24?) and is packed with over three hours of never-before-seen special features including a season seven trailer, over 25 deleted and extended scenes, two all-new behind-the-scenes featurettes and more.

The good folks at M80 are helping us out with the giveaway, including our friendly publicist Derek (Hi Derek! Nice shirt.). Derek has given us not one, but two copies of the box set to give away.

Full disclosure: I don’t watch 24. It’s just one of those shows that I’ve never gotten around to watching even though everyone who watches it loves it (kind of like The Wire, although people tend to be a little more hyperbolic about that one). Regardless, I’m sure this’ll be a great giveaway, especially given the fact that the box set retails for sixty bucks.

So, how do you win this lovely prize? Well, I’m going to make you work for it. Nothing comes easy, suckers, not even in the blogosphere.

One thing I do know about 24 is that at some point Jack Bauer had to bite some dude in the neck to save himself from some sort of imprisonment. Your task is to come up with the cheesiest/stupidest/weirdest thing Jack could possibly say afterwards. For instance, “I always knew I’d take a bite out of crime!”

Submit your answer to tifaux -at- gmail -dot- com with the subject line “24 bites.” We’ll post the winner in good time.

Congrats to Anastasia — the winner of the DVD box set of Justice League: The New Frontier!

Anastasia, based on her e-mail address (which I’m not sharing), leads me to believe she lives in a snow globe and wears a crown made of blown glass.

The scene where, presumably, Wonder Woman confronts the Chinese about their poor human rights track record.

Hopefully, we’ll have some more giveaways in the future for you. And, to secure that, here’s an embedded clip from the movie to whet your appetite. And to please the powers that be.

We’re super, thanks for asking.

Guess what? New giveaway!

Good old Jorge has e-mailed us with another giveaway opportunity — this time for the new animated movie Justice League: The New Frontier, which lands in stores on Feb. 26.

The New Frontier apparently explores the origins of the Justice League (including Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter and The Flash) and finds them teaming up against “a monster so formidable, even the mighty Superman cannot stop it alone.”

If it hadn’t been removed a thousand times by YouTube, I’d embed the Super Friends clip by The State. The one where they tell Aquaman to go “talk to some fish.”

Side note: the press release’s spare use of thematic verbs yields another disappointment. The only one I could spot was that the DVDs would “soar onto shelves.”

To enter, e-mail us at tifaux -at- gmail -dot- com with the subject line “Green lantern jaw.” It’s like the Before and After category on Wheel of Fortune.

What’s ‘hi’ in the middle and round on the ends?

OHIO!

And that’s where our winner is from.  Congratulations to Amy C. for being the damned lucky winner of the George of the Jungle video game for the Wii.

Interestingly (to me, but probably not anyone else), Amy started reading TiFaux during the TiFaux Madness Tournament and just kept stopping by.

And just so’s you know, George of the Jungle airs on Fridays on Cartoon Network.

We haven’t given you anything in a while.  How about we change that?

Cartoon Network is launching a new re-imagining of the George of the Jungle series, starting tonight.  As such, we’re giving away a George of the Jungle video game (for the Nintendo Wii, Nintendo DS or Sony PS2, your pick).

The press release we received about this was somewhat disappointingly not as chock full of jungle puns and double meanings as I might have wanted.  It tries, at times:

• “For these friends, every day is a new adventure full of mishaps, mayhem and monkey business…”
• “Take a vine-swinging ride with George…”

But I think there should have been even more “everyone will go bananas”-style references or perhaps even something like “it’s the truth and I ain’t lion.”

Cartoon Network will debut the new George series tonight at 7:30 p.m. — so maybe you can flip it on as you’re getting ready to go out tonight (filling up your flask, plucking and/or scrubbing yourself, etc.).

To enter to win the George of the Jungle video game, e-mail us at tifaux -at- gmail -dot- com with the subject line “Me George, You TiFaux.”  Deadline’s Sunday, January 27.

It’s that time again.

The good folks at MTV and our publicist pal Jorge are helping us sponsor another giveaway — this time seasons one and two of Run’s House.

For those of you who don’t know it, Run’s House is basically The Osbournes with Rev. Run from Run DMC. The big difference here appears to be that Run’s family doesn’t appear to be on the verge of imploding. It’s quite refreshing, actually, here’s a really cheesy trailer. I won’t embed the other clip they had of Kid Rock talking to the son while wearing a shirt that says “I (heart) black people.”

To enter, just e-mail tifaux (at) gmail (dot) com with the subject line “I’ve got the runs.” Then Maggie will activate her sophisticated randomized selection algorithm to pick the winner. The contest ends Nov. 15.

It’s time to announce the winner of the Veronica Mars Season 3 DVD giveaway. As you may recall, we asked you to come up with two-sentence pitches for a fourth season of the show. We got some really great responses, and it was extremely tough to pick a winner. So we picked two! The first is from Catherine. Thanks for the good visuals, Catherine.

Season 4 starts with Piz: shirtless, tied to a chair, and kidnapped by one of the bail jumpers that Keith had captured (but was recently been released from jail). Veronica and Keith team up with the newly introduced hotty: Piz’s older brother; Veronica is torn between two Piznarskis.

The other winner is Wojtek, who focuses on lesser-seen characters in the Neptune pantheon.

In an attempt to find her father a distraction from the lost election, Veronica finally decides to look into the inexplicable disappearance of Wallace’s mother. The trail, suspiciously — and deliciously! — often peppered with appearances by Trina Echolls (HIMYM schedule permitting) leads her to uncovering the true extent of the Kane conspiracy.

We’ll be in touch about sending out your DVDs.

Of course we can’t help sharing the ideas from many of the wonderful runners-up, after the jump.

Please congratulate the winner of the Nip/Tuck Season Four DVD…

EMILY R.!

Emily mentioned that she discovered us during the TiFaux Madness Tournament and stuck around. Thanks, Emily, for not being one of the crazies that the TiFaux Madness seemed to attract. (Sometimes I have nightmares about TiFaux Madness. The horror… the horror…)

Thanks to all who entered. And don’t forget, you can still enter the Veronica Mars DVD giveaway. We’re getting some good fourth season pitches, but the free DVDs can still be yours if you drop us a line with your two-sentence idea at tifaux-at-gmail-dot-com.

We’re big time now. You should know this.

A little while ago, we held our first giveaway for season four of Nip/Tuck (which, by the way, you still have time to enter). This is real merchandise, folks, made in a real factory.

Some of you may have been a little ambivalent about entering that particular contest given the fact that we don’t really talk about Nip/Tuck all that much on TiFaux. However, we were contacted the other day by our good friend Jorge at M80/Warner Home Video and he is helping us sponsor our second giveaway, which is for one of our all-time faves.

Ladies and germs, we are now accepting entries for our giveaway of VERONICA MARS SEASON THREE!!!

We’ve got Veronica, Wallace, Mac, Logan, Keith — the whole crew is back for their third and final season. It already seems so long ago (the head-shaving rapist, the Dean O’Dell mystery) that watching the show again will seem like the first time.

The DVD includes:

• Pitching Season 4 - An in-depth interview w/ Creator Rob Thomas discussing a new direction for the series presented to network executives that picks up years later, with Veronica as a rookie FBI agent.
• Going Undercover with Rob Thomas - Show Creator Rob Thomas walks us through some of the most memorable moments from Season 3
• Webisode Gallery with cast interviews and various set tours
• Unaired Scenes with introductions by Rob Thomas
• Gag Reel

And now, you’re asking, how do I enter?

Since this is a hot item, we’re going to spice up the competition. To enter, send us your own pitch for Veronica Mars fictional fourth season. Obviously, you can’t say she’s a rookie FBI agent. You have her stay in college, go off on her own, become a missionary, whatever. You can even propose a season-long mystery arc. Phrase your idea as a pitch and not fan fiction. Fan fiction makes us (read: me) feel like a weird shut-in. There is also a two sentence maximum.

E-mail Maggie at tifaux -at- gmail -dot- com with the subject line “Veronica Mars.” The best pitch wins — or the pitch we like the most, so feel free to pander to us. The competition is open until Oct. 22.

Again, you can only enter once. Jesus, TiFaux and Veronica hate cheaters.

(Note to publicists: please e-mail us at the above address if you’d like to arrange a giveaway!)