Last night's premiere of Rock Star: Supernova was everything I thought it would be and more. I've only watched bits and pieces of American Idol, but it's what I'd imagine American Idol would be like after getting a new wardrobe at H&M, obtaining a couple tattoos and piercings, staying out all night drinking tequila and granting sexual favors in the men's room of a dirty club, trying heroin just for fun, then stumbling into the studio still a little drunk only to revive itself with a snort of something right before the show started. In other words, it's cracked out and crazy and kind of a phony, but at heart, just wants to be America's favorite person ever.
Dave Navarro, as anyone who has ever seen him on Celebrity Poker Showdown would attest, is a huge camera-whore with the greatest eyebrows known to man. Brooke Burke's outfits are from Insane Skankwear R Us, but she somehow (amazingly) pulls it off. The new band members seem to have a spark of genuine craziness, particularly Tommy Lee, who I predict will somehow miss one or more episodes this season. I just can't see that man actually showing up on time for the same thing week after week.
And the contestants? So far they seem like a pleasantly deranged and delusional bunch. The lows were mainly the men, who struggle to come up with any sort of personality for themselves without looking fey. There were some pretty phenomenal female performances, particularly Dilana:
She sang a truly awesome version of Lithium. So awesome she kind of scared the crap out of me. In a good way, I think. My other initial favorite is Patrice:
She's got a great voice and she's likeable onstage. There were some other great ones, like the teeny tiny blonde chick and the tall skinny blonde chick and the Puerto Rican girl wearing the train, but these two stood out. From the men, I liked Lukas (another crazy/scary type) and Ryan, who's last name is Star, so there you go.
Look at these people! How can you not watch a show with these characters? Don't you want to know what they're going to say? If they're going to flail around the stage and hurt themselves? If Tommy Lee is going to tell them that they "killed that song"? Whether Supernova will even be paying attention?