Alright, guys… I need more entries for the 24 giveaway.

I’m guessing I made it too hard on you. Maybe the whole “come up with a cheesy saying for Jack Bauer to mutter after biting that guys neck off” contest was too much to ask. I mean, I get it. It’s a lot of pressure to have to come up with something and be happy with it and then send it in when you have no idea how many people were entering.

Suffice to say, response has been wanting.

But believe me, it’s okay. I used to be the same way — agonizing over every word I wrote on this precious blog. But now, all I really do is type stream-of-consciousness style and cross my fingers that it is actually comprehensible and not some sort of William Faulkner-style rant (on that note, I’m going to refer to Maggie and John as Quentin and Quentin just to make things unnecessarily confusing. Sound and the Fury joke! I say it like I understood the book, but I never finished it even though I was supposed to read it for two separate classes).

Where was I?  Oh, 24…

Okay, I really need to boost these numbers so I’m going to change the game. Here’s the new deal:

If you want to win the first season of 24 on DVD, send an e-mail to tifaux -at- gmail -dot- com, put “24 giveaway” in the subject line and give me the name of your favorite vegetable. It can be any vegetable. For example, a carrot.

Seriously, that’s just one. If you need help, here’s a list of vegetables to choose from.

I love it when we get to do giveaways.  Makes me feel fancy.

You know what makes me feel even fancier? When we get to give away good shit. Case in point: this here giveaway.

As you can see by Jack Bauer’s rugged, furrowed visage above, we’re giving away something 24-related. In fact, we’re giving away the new special edition DVD of 24’s first season. The DVD set includes all 24 episodes (get it — 24?) and is packed with over three hours of never-before-seen special features including a season seven trailer, over 25 deleted and extended scenes, two all-new behind-the-scenes featurettes and more.

The good folks at M80 are helping us out with the giveaway, including our friendly publicist Derek (Hi Derek! Nice shirt.). Derek has given us not one, but two copies of the box set to give away.

Full disclosure: I don’t watch 24. It’s just one of those shows that I’ve never gotten around to watching even though everyone who watches it loves it (kind of like The Wire, although people tend to be a little more hyperbolic about that one). Regardless, I’m sure this’ll be a great giveaway, especially given the fact that the box set retails for sixty bucks.

So, how do you win this lovely prize? Well, I’m going to make you work for it. Nothing comes easy, suckers, not even in the blogosphere.

One thing I do know about 24 is that at some point Jack Bauer had to bite some dude in the neck to save himself from some sort of imprisonment. Your task is to come up with the cheesiest/stupidest/weirdest thing Jack could possibly say afterwards. For instance, “I always knew I’d take a bite out of crime!”

Submit your answer to tifaux -at- gmail -dot- com with the subject line “24 bites.” We’ll post the winner in good time.

It’s Super Tuesday! Everybody panic!

As a DC resident, I’m trying to think of an analogy of how big Super Tuesday (and other big political events) is around here. You could say gay pride in San Francisco or Mardi Gras in New Orleans, but events like this unique bring out a distinct brand of nerdery that is unique to this city. Not that non DCers aren’t paying attention, it’s just weird here.  Let me put it this way — I’m going to a Super Tuesday party with real life cupcakes. Admittedly, these are blue Superbowl cupcakes that are being repurposed from New York Giants colors to Democratic colors, but I digress…

This all leads me to wonder, who would I vote for if I lived inside the television? I mean, more than I already do. Getting rid of that already tenuous blur between my real life and whatever’s going on on The Biggest Loser.

So who would you vote for given the following options:

Josiah Bartlet (The West Wing)

• Pro: Smart cookie — scored a 1590 on his SAT.
• Con: Won’t remember your name.

Laura Roslin (Battlestar Galactica)

• Pro: Nerves of steel, subtle flirtation.
• Con: Lost to Baius Galtar — didn’t have the resolve to fix the election.

David Palmer (24)

• Pro: Strong leader who can make tough decisions.
• Con: Dead.

The form of Nathan Petrelli inhabited by Sylar (Heroes)

• Pro: Smokin’ hot president.
• Con: Bent on world destruction.

What’s the appropriate amount of time between the airing of an episode and discussing it openly on the internets. I’m going with a one-day buffer.

• Nashville Star is moving to NBC this summer.
• Don’t get your hopes up for an Lively-Badgely wedding.
• There are photos of the next Survivor tribal council and of some challenges. If that means anything to you.
• The Directors Guild has a deal with the studios — is this nice foreshadowing? E-Kristin breaks it down.
• Reality Blurred has news on all sorts of new reality shows including a spin-off of My Super Sweet 16.
• The Oscars will go on no matter what.
• Kiefer’s getting out of the big house.
• E-Kristin talks to you-know-who from Project Runway about his/her auffing.
• Linda Cardellini of ER and Freaks and Geeks talks to The AV Club.
• Want to check out the next season of Jericho? Meh…
• Survivor’s Jonny Fairplay has reproduced.
• Is The Wire the sexiest show on TV?

Can anyone implant a chip in my brain to have me speak in a Cockney accent?

• The writers strike might screw with next season too.
• The TV Addict talks to Elizabeth Mitchell from Lost.
• Oprah is expanding her empire with a cable network.
• Want to be on the next Top Design or Shear Genius?  Have at it.
• NBC is re-making a British car show called Top Gear.
• Get ready for Flavor of Love with…  Emmanuel Lewis.
• A new Ask Ausiello has info on the eventual return of 24.
• E-Kristin talks about Mad Men — which you can now catch on Sundays at midnight.  Maggie, I’m guessing, still thinks you shouldn’t watch.

I haven’t had Mexican in forever. This must change.

• First and foremost, Jack from Project Runway talks about his sudden departure.
• Hypeful counts down the year’s top ten musical moments.
• Like Christmas with the creepy uncle, Isaiah Washington is picketing with the Grey’s Anatomy cast.
• Reno 911 will be back in January with Christina Applegate and Seth Green.
• In more questionable decision-making, Will Arnett will voice KITT in the Knight Rider movie.
• Strikers want the WGA to get back to the bargaining table.
• Will there even be upfronts next year?
• Keifer is a popular prisoner.
• Israel will have its own Survivor.
• Watch clips from the next season of The Tudors on YouTube.
• Colombians don’t like the American Ugly Betty.

At least we’ve got Project Runway to look forward to.

• Series creators are joining the picketing ranks.
• Next week’s episode of The Office is the last original one they have lined up. E-Kristin says they haven’t yet filmed an episode featuring a Michael-Jan-Jim-Pam dinner party.
• A priest is stalking Conan O’Brien.
• ABC will at least air eight episodes of Lost this season.
• 24 might be delayed until next year.
• Overall TV viewership is down this season.
• Dexter season three is a go!
•  Register for the fantasy Project Runway league.
• Are Lauren and Heidi secret friends?
• The Battlestar boss sounds off on the necessity of the strike.

Daylight savings time can bite me. (PS - don’t forget to vote. In the real election that is happening today. Not that it would hurt to vote in the fake one.)

• Look! Jack Bauer has been spotted in Georgetown!
• Take a look at Variety’s writer’s strike blog.
• The Washington Post gives kudos to Brian Williams’ SNL appearance.
• Will Scrubs bow out early because of the strike? Meanwhile, star Judy Reyes has signed a deal with ABC.
• The New Yorker reviews Pushing Daisies.
• The NY Times talks about the people who spend big bucks trying to get on reality TV shows.
• Papa Mars is now going to be on Numb3rs.
• Weeds got a fourth season!
• NBC has greenlit Kings, about a modern King David.
• This might not be Curb Your Enthusiasm’s last season. Ditto for ER.
• Spoiler chat with E-Kristin.
• Will Rosie have a show on MSNBC?
• Take a look at Posh Spice’s guest turn on Ugly Betty.

From what I hear, the most recent season of 24 was a clunker. Perhaps that’s what drove Kiefer to the bottle. In any case, via The TV Addict, here’s a look at what’s in store for next season — hopefully they’re stepping it up.

There are a lot of denture commercials on daytime TV.

• Maya Rudolph to the world: “Ha, ha. J/K. LOL. I’m staying on SNL. OMG.”
• Timothy Hutton will try to make a go of TV after Kidnapped by making a TNT pilot.
• Jack Bauer’s next mission: find an effing designated driver.
• Tina Fey talks to the New York Times.
• Your cable company might be participating in Showtime’s free preview weekend, which will allow you to see the season premieres of Dexter and Brotherhood.
• James Marsters will be coming to Smallville this season.
• Jillian, the trainer from The Biggest Loser, talks about why she took a season off.
• Game time — America’s Next Top Model winner/train wreck Adrianne Curry has declared war on which of the following: leggings, Black History Month, Charlie Sheen, the state of Idaho. Click here to find out the answer.
• CBS is tweaking Cane to appease a real life Cuban sugar cane family.
• BET is changing toward a more “mature” direction.
• Nashville is getting yanked.
• John From Cincinnati is now on Friday Night Lights.