Let's say you're Brad Garrett. You had a funny supporting role on a blockbuster TV show that supposedly Everybody Loved. What do you do next? The obvious answer is to take a leading role on an obviously unoriginal sitcom where you can coast for years. But not Brad Garrett. He decided to take a leading role on an obviously unoriginal sitcom and demand better material! Yes, Brad Garrett has shut down production of 'Til Death for an extra week because he's not happy with the scripts for the show. The show was already on hiatus for a week because of bad ratings. I can just picture Brad Garrett making all the writers stay way past 6pm explaining to them that if they can just come up with three more jokes about how married people never have sex they'll beat My Name is Earl next week.

Good luck Brad, but you really should have thought of that before you joined the show. To me it looks like you're upset because the ratings are bad. The ratings aren't bad because the scripts aren't good enough. The ratings are bad because this is a hacky idea. And it's pitted against My Name is Earl and Ugly Betty, two much more interesting shows. Hacky shows can't survive against that kind of competition. I hope.

Look, I'm driving away, and you can get in the car, or you can stand there making moony eyes at me all day.

I know, I'm irresistable. You love me — I can tell.  I may be an orphan now but that doesn't mean that nobody loves me. I'm huge with the internet crowd.

But listen, I've got places to be. You know? I can't wait here all day. I've got to be accused of murder, or get kidnapped and tortured, or burn up some poor kids' pool. Or just pick up my girlfriend from her art history class. No, not the dead one. And not the sweet one you could snap in half like a twig, or the slutty one with the giant rack.

The one who's show you're watching tonight at 9 on the new CW, moron. Veronica. She's in college now. Hearst. Haven't heard of it? Well apparently you don't subscribe to Elitist Dickweeds Monthly. And I say that out of love, not because they wouldn't let me in.

As Aristotle said, "A friend is a second self." Hey, friend — one Logan Echolls is plenty, don't you agree? So either get in or back away from the vehicle.

That's right, get the hell out of here. (Help me.) No, leave. (I need you.) Seriously, I'll drive over your foot, don't think I won't. (Please.)  

Well, no one can say I didn't give it the old college try. In fact, my three episode trial was probably a way, way more generous allowance than provided by most members of the American viewing population, so I'm confident in proclaiming myself a legal expert on the topic before I give you the following authoritative and definitive statement: The Class is a bad show.

(It's a trick. There is no video. Trust me, you don't want to see it anyway).

This show had some good things going for it. Namely, it was leading in to How I Met Your Mother which, along with Veronica Mars, is one of the best shows on TV now (Veronica Mars! TONIGHT! Tune in and save my favorite tiny blonde heroine from network obscurity!), and that is leading into Two and a Half Men which, despite being awful, my mother claims is also one of the best shows on TV. So we have many generations covered in the span of an hour, which is nice. Also, it gave us a group of people that were all miserable, save the ones that were gay, which is always fun to see. Take that, right wingers!

Also, it plays with a lurking emotion that I–and, I bet, most people– have: that sinking feeling as you approach your high school reunion that you want to be The Big Winner but can't quit figure out how to secure a victory in the game of life before then. For a while, I was pretty sure that the mere fact that I was (a) not fat and (b) no longer living in my hometown would put me in the first decile, easily. I'll cling to that as we snowball towards 2009.

The Class follows a group of adults that reunite on the 20th anniversary of their first day of 3rd grade. Hilarity ensues! Only, not. One is a network weather girl who can't get over the fact that her high school boyfriend turned out to like dudes. (I can't get over the fact that she thinks it's okay to wear red power suits to apartment parties and name her daughter Oprah). One is married to a much older former NFL player (which is apparently not enough to keep her from hitting it with her old high school flame, who currently lives at home with his mom). One is suicidal until he reunites with a former classmate and falls in love in the span of an hour, before accidentally hitting her with his car.

If you do wind up watching the show, I suggest you take the same approach you would on The New Yorker's write the cartoon caption contest in every issue. The set up for jokes is so obvious that you can write between three and five punchlines in your head before the actual (and, ultimately, disappointing) punchline is delivered. For example, after being dumped by his girlfriend, the Reunion Organizer relates to Bitter Girl that he used to leave little notes for his ex-girlfriend every day, so that she would know she was loved. Bitter Girl then finds one of the notes in the apartment and reads it:

Bitter Girl: Woah! This… is dirty!

Reunion Organizer: Well, yeah. You didn't expect them all to just say "happy wednesday," did you?

Now, here's the fun part! What would you have Bitter Girl respond? I went with "This one could have gotten me all the way through Saturday!" but CBS settled on "This would have been a VERY happy wednesday." For shame, CBS. For shame. Now I'm going back to The Daily Show reruns in the 8pm slot.