First item of business: who prevailed in the battle of the babyfaced badass Logan Echolls versus the tribe leader Jack Shephard? Turns out most of you think that brawn and raw anger would prevail, since (as of this post) Logan is enjoying a healthy lead. Makes sense, I suppose, but it would still be an entertaining match.

But after two boy fights in a row, it’s time to let the ladies have at it. And not just any ladies — two dames with ice water for blood. It’s Grandma Petrelli versus Grandma Bluth. That is, Nathan and Peter’s always-surprising mother on Heroes, Angela Petrelli, and the matriarch of the wildly dysfunctional Bluth clan, Lucille Bluth.

I predict hair-pulling and dirty tricks.

Side note: although it is entirely possible that Petrelli has some sort of super-power, right now we’re operating under the assumption that she doesn’t. That wouldn’t be fair now, would it?

Angela Petrelli

Strengths:

• Nerves of steel
• Has a history of shady dealings
• Patient

Weaknesses:

• Like a mother lion, she’s protective of her cubs — which could be a liability
• Used to having other people do her dirty work
• Has less power over those not directly related to her

Secret Weapon: Steadfast and determined.

Lucille Bluth

Strengths:

• Acid tongue
• Emotionally manipulative; can pretend to be hurt and then pounce when Petrelli’s guard is down
• Sharp jewelry can be used as a weapon

Weaknesses:

• Perpetual buzz could slow reaction time
• Words may sting, but they can’t cut
• Likely to forfeit if she gets tired

Secret Weapon: Fights dirty.

Head, gut or crotch?

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• Billy Campbell is begging for an arc on Battlestar.
• Portia De Rossi will be on Nip/Tuck as, you guessed it, a lesbian.
• Molly Shannon — who knew she’d be everywhere all of a sudden? — is going to be in a Lifetime comedy movie that is basically Michael Keaton’s Multiplicity.
• Oprah’s Gayle, Whoopi and some other lady are the candidates to replace Rosie on The View.
• Someone who died on Rescue Me speaks.
• Here are some details on the DVD release of Studio 60.
• If you’re still taking the loss of Veronica Mars hard, here’s something to make you feel even worse — ABC has belatedly renewed According to Jim.
• Many members of the cast of Big Brother 8 have pre-existing, unresolved conflicts.
• And if you want to see John Stamos trashed (allegedly) and promoting ER in Australia, look down.