I don’t watch The Bachelor. I have a problem with dating shows not featuring flava flav. But I come from a Navy family (beat army!) which makes it hard to resist programming that chronicles this man’s search for love:

Luckily, ESPN.com got my favorite sports writer’s wife to review the episodes so I don’t actually have to watch them. And she treats us to funny glimpses of the Simmons household. What’s not to like?

Meanwhile, Andy looked so excited to meet the girls that it was uncomfortable. It looked like he was going to burst. Bill described him as “a much, much, much hornier Richie Cunningham.” That’s why he’s a writer and I’m not.

Literally. The Office and 30 Rock are supersized tonight, which is pretty exciting. In the Office, we find out whether Roy kills Jim. (Crazy prediction: He doesn’t.) And as far as 30 Rock goes, I don’t even care what they do, I’m just glad they’re back and renewed for another season. Yay, 30 Rock!

But if you do want to know something about tonight’s 30 Rock, just know that Will Arnett guest stars. Oh GOB… how we’ve missed you.

And then on top of all that, they’re airing another Andy Barker, PI. Do check it out. It’s delightful, and clearly not long for this world.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: Human Giant, the new sketch show starring (TiFaux favorite) Aziz Ansari, (Inconsiderate Cell Phone Man) Rob Huebel, and others, premieres tonight on MTV. Apparently you can also download this episode for free on iTunes. Kids these days — they love their portable music playing devices.

Book club is better when there is a golden retriever to play with.

• Mindy Kaling, unsung heroine of The Office, talks to the AV Club.
• Prepare yourself, Cristin. The Hills is going to be back for a third season.
• MTV will be reuniting the cast of The Real World: Las Vegas — the show’s worst season ever — for a six-episode series.
• 30 Rock has officially been renewed.
• Multiple choice: The creator of Friends is now working on a reality show about a) psychics; b) carnival workers; c) strippers; d) martial arts professionals.
• CBS tries to air its Bob Barker tributes before he dies.
• Not only is The Black Donnellys cancelled, but NBC isn’t even going to air the last six episodes. They’re going to stream them on NBC.com.
• Battlestar producers talk about keeping Starbuck’s secret.
• A new biography on Julia Child takes a big dump on the old girl’s reputation by saying she was a sexist and a homophobe.
• The Food Network is under fire for its lack of diversity.
• The Tudors on Showtime appears to be a big hit.
• Erika Christenson and David Cross will be in a CBS comedy pilot called I’m in Hell. Cross plays the devil.