True? Not true?

So, how fun is Heroes? SO fun. Tonight’s episode is in the future. The bad future! I can’t wait. I also just wanted to point out that the only comments for this post were about how cute Peter’s new hair is. I don’t know what that means, except that apparently people have very strong opinions on Peter Petrelli’s hair.

24 continues whatever it’s doing now. Remember way back when Jack killed that guy by biting his neck? Did you ever think you’d be so disappointed in the show as you are now?

Barney goes on The Price Is Right tonight on How I Met Your Mother. Because of course he does.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: A PBS documentary about the Mormons. Or Hitler’s underground lair on Cities of the Underworld on the History Channel. But seriously, just watch Heroes.

I’m really annoyed that Studio 60 is coming back. Just when I finally got those smug bastards out of my head, we have what I believe are 6 more episodes coming at us starting May 24. Without the 30 Rock antidote later in the week, I don’t think I can take Sorkin’s sodden showbiz shenanigans. Slate recently claimed that “its core audience might well have been people who actively disliked it.” If that’s true, it puts me smack in the middle of the core audience.

Just to make myself feel better, I’m going to speculate about how the show will end. Most likely the last episode they made wasn’t written as the final episode, but if we got a real series finale, here are some things we might see:

1. Matt and Danny storm onto the stage during a particularly insipid sketch and give a rambling speech about how terrible the show has gotten lately. They quit, leaving Lucy Davis in charge.
2. Guest star Tina Fey (as herself) visits the set to do research for her 30 minute sitcom about the backstage hijinks at a show very similar to Studio 60. The Universe shrinks to a singularity, but not before Matt tries to sleep with her.
3. Matt and Harriett and Danny and Jordan get married in a celebrity cameo-studded double wedding. Matt insists on writing everyone’s vows himself.
4. Lorne Michaels wakes up in bed and realizes it was all a bad dream.
5. Citing consistently poor ratings—and general lack of interest—NBS cancels the show.

Feel free to add your own in the comments.

It ruined Tostitos.

• Cracked interviews The Daily Show’s Samantha Bee.
• It’s always funny to think that former American Idol contestants end up strung out on coke and working at Hooters. Turns out, it happens.
• Studio 60 will return May 24 (aka the day after sweeps ends).
• Sendhil Ramamurthy (Mohinder from Heroes) talks to TV Guide.
• Matt Roush answers burning questions about Dancing With the Stars, etc.
• C.J.’s assistant on The West Wing, Melissa Fitzgerald, might run for Congress.
• Slate ponders the FCC situation.
• I Love New York 2 is on its drug-addled, drunken way.
• Sean Hayes is bringing a British sketch comedy show stateside.
• Puppies!