If you’ve ever worn a suit and chanted in Hebrew through various forms of orthodontic devices, you’ll probably enjoy the full extended version of Werewolf Bar Mitzvah — as seen on 30 Rock.

It’s pretty weird to hear Tracy Morgan name-checking various Jewish traditions, but it’s also quite funny.

Thanks to Katie for the heads-up.

Yes, I am excited it’s Wednesday because of all the good TV. But I’m also excited to be back from fulfilling (enduring) my civic duty. Don’t ask me about it. Crime is not always fun like in Oceans 11.

It’s a Halloween episode of Pushing Daisies, which I’m looking forward to almost as much as the giant bag of candy I bought for the approximately zero children who ring our doorbell.

It’s gratifying that my early instinct on Dirty Sexy Money — that Brian is by far the most interesting Darling — seems to be true so far. He’s so angry and spiteful. But human.

I’m still recording Gossip Girl, but it’s not actually getting watched, as evidenced by my multi-week backlog. I would guess scandalous things are happening.

Just in time for Halloween, Mythbusters returns with some fire myths. Presumably not as a tasteless tie-in to the California wildfires.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: A special one for Cristin — David Wright is the guest on The Daily Show tonight.

Daddy issues: it’s the hot new internal turmoil for characters on the small screen.

That’s not to say paternal conflict hasn’t been mined since Hamlet as fodder for character motivation (although I suppose that was more uncle/stepdad or ghost daddy issues). But if you’re watching any TV these days there’s at least one show with a prominent father-related plotline. Lost, for example, is chock full of alcoholic dads, power-crazy dads, deadbeat dads and Machiavellian con artist dads. Characters with major father conflicts include Jack (and therefore Claire, kinda), Locke, Hurley, Sun (and Jin’s father-in-law), Ben, Sawyer, Penny and Kate (step-father — remember? She blew him up).

So, here is a sampling of daddy issues rated on a scale of 1 to 10 for intensity. One being “C’mon, can I borrow the car?” and 10 being “Why’d you have to push me out of the 8th floor of your apartment building?”

Jack on Lost — 8.0

Like father, like son — at least when you’re talking about alcoholic, type-A surgeons. Jack’s entire backstory is anchored by his relationship with his father. Even his romantic entanglements seem secondary in comparison to his quest for his father’s approval. On a show with no shortage of bad dads, this one is the most all-consuming.
“Aww… you look very nice in your white coat son. Now fix papa a bowl of bourbon.”

Locke on Lost –10.0

Locke is such a douche bag that I hardly care about his daddy issues, but the plot line about his con man dad is so cartoonishly messed-up that it is entirely necessary to mention. Locke’s dad has: tricked Locke out of a kidney, pushed him out of a window in an attempt to kill him and bereated him even while he was Locke’s prisoner on the island. Not that anything about Lost is realistic, but the extent of evil in Locke’s dad is pretty out there.

Nick on Dirty Sexy Money — 5.0

Nick has spent his entire life trying to not be his Dad, Dutch, by getting into do-good law and being the consumate family man. But the premise of the whole series is that he’s trying to avoid falling into the same traps his dad did while working for the Darlings. Then there’s the whole murder mystery angle — was Dutch murdered? Were the Darlings behind it? On some level, Nick doesn’t really care, but he’s a decent guy so he has to find out. I’m going to go on record here as saying that I don’t think Dutch is dead (they didn’t find a body). I base this on nothing but instinct (my instincts are rarely correct, though — remember when I thought Burke was going to kill himself on Grey’s Anatomy? Ah, memories.).

Dexter on Dexter –4.0

Dexter’s dad is actually a good one. I mean, he’s kind of wacky, but he prevents innocent people from dying. Dexter’s dad, for those of you who don’t watch, died a long time ago, but instilled the “Code of Harry” in Dexter. He taught his young, adoptive sociopath to satisfy his bloodlust with hunting and, eventually, by only killing people who really deserve it. Papa Dexter comes back through flashbacks with a child star playing young Dexter (complete with matching mole!). Nowadays, Dexter’s psyche is very much haunted by the memories of good old dad.

Parkman on Heroes — 7.5

Parkman was abandoned by his father — who is apparently now the worst hero ever. Worse than Sylar even. We have much to learn about this one.

George on Grey’s Anatomy — 5.5

You know, Grey’s Anatomy is pretty awful most of the time, but they managed to do some good stuff with the death of George’s dad. The bit where Christina talks to him about the “dead dads club,” the part where George freaks out on Dr. Weber because his Dad didn’t know any better than to get the risky surgery — all pretty affecting moments on a show where I’m not used to giving a rat’s ass. Or even paying close attention for that matter. That storyline has faded now, but it’s probably best left untarnished.

The Bionic Woman’s dad — meh

There’s something going on with him because why would the sister be living with Jamie if the dad’s still around. But this show is so awful that who really cares? It won’t be around next season to explore that plot line anyway.

Get me one of those hats with the light. Please.

• Brian Williams talks about his gig on SNL.
• ABC is doing pretty well with diversity.
• So much drama on Dancing with the Stars. On two fronts.
• Behind the scenes on Cane.
• Joss Whedon gives E-Kristin a video interview.
• E! also has a spoiler chat featuring Pushing Daisies, Gossip Girl, Dexter and Joel McHale.
• The Hater hates Jerry Seinfeld.
• Samantha Who? has been picked up for a full season.
• NCIS is celebrating its 100th episode. Do you know anyone who has seen any of them? (Again, I defer to Mama Fee)
• The Smurfs are coming to DVD.
• Watch the ten best “That’s what she said” moments.
• The root of all the NBC/iTunes drama? Apple wouldn’t let them sell one show for $2.99.